Is there any hope for an objectively ugly woman

Hi everyone, I am new to this forum and I'm not even sure if I'm posting in the right place. I have scoured the Internet in answer to my question and I find Internet found often provide more realistic information than asking people offline

Anyway, I am here to ask what can an objectively woman do in terms of dating? I have been told I'm ugly ever since I hit puberty at twelve years old. This has happened to me over ten times, mostly by people I didn't know. I once had a soda can thrown at me by two young boys who then screamed 'ugly bitch!' from across the street. I have had people tell my friends that I am ugly. Most of the guys I have dated I have met online. Some have told me that they were disappointed when they met me offline, but ALL have told me they are not interested in a relationship. I have had one woman comment on how pretty my friends are, and look at me with pity. Another told me I am pretty 'in my own way.'
I have had a webcam cut off on me, and somebody hack into my msn account and write on my status 'everybody thinks im ugly but I think im pretty.' I have some pretty friends, and every time we York a club men approach them and not me, whichever one of them I am with. Some men approach me to ask about them. One guy i met in a club, approached my friend first And was telling her how gorgeous sje was, but once he got speaking to me, he asked me for my phone number. We dated like a month and and a half, during he made it quite clear in a nice way that I was not his type physically, but he is interested in me for who I am.
All my friends my age have had proper boyfriends, not just friends with benefits, men who have loved them bought them gifts, introduced to families etc, so I feel pretty out of the loop romantically and quite left out.
I am not here to hear 'nobody is ugly' or 'inner beauty is what counts' brcause study after study has shown if a man does not find you attractive he will not give you the time of day. I know I am, I just wanna know if I have any hope in the dating world.
When I was sixteen I fell in love with a guy who made me feel attractive, I met him online. Looking back it was clear he only spoke to me to boost my confidence. Despite him saying I was attractive, he never called me, I had to call him. Every time I brought up a relationship he scoffed and once told me if we were to sleep together he felt I might get attached and he's not interested in that. I didn't take heed being young, continued to make an effort and then he got a girlfriend. I was heartbroken and knew I am indeed ugly.
I am twenty years old now and have not had a proper relationship. I am often complimented on my dress sense, and spend a lot of time choosing clothes to suit my figure. I have my hair cut regularly, keep my eyebrows and nails done, and apply cosmetics everyday, such as Dior, Armani and NARS. I am currently studying a college degree in literature and used to work for Armani. So I do look after myself
Thankyou so much for reading if you've got this far. I have just faced so much rejection and vicious comments about the way I look from people I don't know, and now at twenty I'm pretty worried I'm gonna be alone the rest of my life. Thanks again for reading, replies would be much appreciated.

HI Ralph101 and welcome to the forum.

I'm sorry you have been treated so poorly. You do have hope in the dating world. People often pair up with someone similar to themselves in terms of physical attractiveness. There are dating sites that might help you find what you are looking for. You can google "ugly dating" to find a couple sites you might find interesting. You are still quite young and have plenty of time to find that special someone. As per your request, I won't say anything like "nobody is ugly", but can I say nobody is completely ugly? Even if you don't meet all the current societal standards of physical beauty I'm sure you have some lovely features, whether that is clear skin, beautiful eyes, nice hair, glowing smile, etc. You do posess positive physical attributes as well as inner beauty and I hope you find a partner that sees all that in you.

Good luck and take care,
Jan

An interesting story.

You paint yourself to be awful when I doubt you are that way. I think the only real category of ugliness that people would give is to people with deformities. Which is sad to do but that's what happens.

It's good you do keep up with yourself. Don't let go of your sense of style.

You are very young and that age is highly judgmental on beauty. If you don't like the way you look now, the good news is within a few years there are some changes. I thought I wasn't as attractive at 18 and now being 23 *and there are some changes* I'm like yeah, not bad. I wouldn't worry about finding a partner since men aren't that great at that age anyway. Armani wouldn't hire ugly people so I doubt you are that bad lol.

Just focus on school, don't worry about the boys your age until they grow up, then if you still have this problem I'd re-write. Everyone's pretty much going to say "you are only 20 what's the big deal". If you were pushing 40 this would be a different issue.

I'm sorry these people have treated you poorly.

It seems like you have a poor image of yourself because of other people's opinions. You keep talking about what other people have said but you don't even give yourself any credit! No wonder these people don't value you, you need to love yourself to break that cycle. Build up your confidence and self-esteem - that's what makes beauty shine. Forget them, focus on yourself.

What kind of people do you choose to be around? Is it because you desire to be part of that glamorous world? In that case you are always gonna be around judgmental people. Fashion and appearance is important in that world. Think Ugly Betty! And like the previous member said since you worked for Armani I doubt you are ugly at all. Those companies always hire trendy attractive people.

On the basis that you're probably not finding every possible partner attractive, I'd say that there is every chance for you. (Which is another way of saying beauty is in the eye of the beholder.) -- It is just a matter of being where the people who find you attractive happen to gang out.

I have been told I'm ugly ever since I hit puberty at twelve years old.

According to whom ? And are they still part of your universe ? If not why is their judgement ?

This has happened to me over ten times,

I hope you're not trying to tell us that being told your ugly roughly once a year proves the case.

Ralph101 wrote:Hi everyone, I am new to this forum and I'm not even sure if I'm posting in the right place. I have scoured the Internet in answer to my question and I find Internet found often provide more realistic information than asking people offline

I agree, which is why I'm generally against efforts to censor freedom of speech on the internet. People's true colors only reveal themselves when there is anonymity.

There are some things you can do to enhance your appearance to the opposite sex such as wearing flattering clothes, exercising to improve your body's constitution, applying cosmetics properly, growing your hair long and styling it to enhance your face, and fixing your teeth. To me most women are somewhat unattractive without cosmetics, although a younger woman (18-24) generally shouldn't look too bad without makeup on. Drinking, drugging, and smoking is the enemy of beauty. Pregnancy is bad too, I believe.

I believe that women most young women can attain a level of beauty, but you might have to put the work in. It might require that you treat it almost like a job. At the very least, I think it's likely that you're more attractive than the majority of the female population given that you're only 20 years old. Don't expect it to last though.

For what it's worth, I've heard that it's the really pretty girls (the 9s and 10s) who have the lowest self-esteem.

I suggest you want an objective detailed and reasoned opinion on your appearance and I can give you that if you provided a picture of yourself. I will also tell you exactly why or why not and how much (or not) I consider your pretty or ugly or whatever. Point is that only really irrevertable deformed people are "beyond hope" (which means without plastic surgery and even that may be your ticket to go, depending on your desperation).
Nobody will ever want to date you if he/she does not find you attractive (in whatever way), there is no point in lying here. The question is to what extent are you really objectively ugly.At the moment nobody is able to give you honest (and hopefully healthy) input on that.

On the other hand, if you're unable or unwilling to change on whatever is changeable, you could just "sit out" until your an old woman anyway, as beauty fades away really fast, although I wouldn't prefer that as you are obviously suffering from your current state.

Ugly. Pretty.

Both words of judgement. Both words packing behind them centuries of judgement and ideals which lead us to current day norms.

It is true that some people's facial features are arranged in a way that the vast majority of people wouldn't think they are very attractive individuals.

However, beauty IS in the eye of the beholder.

I remember when my sister was in high school, some of the boys called her a dog. Then, later in life, men told me they thought she was a stunning beauty. Sometimes the ones that are striking looking, have somewhat coarse features, yet, with the right healthy habits, and grooming, look very handsome.

However, dear poster of this thread. I am having a difficult time reading your level of self-judgement. What do you think makes you ugly? What is it? Do you have horrible buck teeth? I find buck teeth really attractive actually. Do you have cross eyes. I find those pretty cute on many women too. I never liked the ones that looked like models; to me, they were always really plain, without a lot of character. I had one girlfriend whose ears stuck out. I thought it was extremely cute.

So, what is it? Can you describe yourself for me?

Even some women who are not very pretty, in the conventional sense, can be really sexy, y'know? Even with chipped teeth, scars, and sleepy eyes, they can have something about them, something in the way they move which catches a man's eye.

Lately, I'm attracted to a young woman who has a face which some might deem "ugly." Whatever. I think she's cute. Her face could easily be dressed up a witch on Hallowe'en, on the one hand, since she has a pointy chin and thin lips, but on the other hand, she uses nice lip gloss, and a bit of light eyeliner, looks mostly really cute, and has a great body. I'd love to date someone who looked like her.

Do you have any physical assets you think are pretty, too? Do you have a nice figure? Nice hair? What's wrong with your looks?