I cheated...

I've been going out with my boyfriend, J, for nearly two years. The good times are amazing, but the bad times are borderline abusive. He verbally abuses me and doesn't see what he's done wrong. All he can see are the good times, when he held me while I was crying or when we cuddle or stuff like that. In his mind, everything he does is justified.

I recently started college (he goes to another college six hours away), and ever since I got here, we've gotten into fights at least once a week, if not more. We haven't talked to each other for two days because of a prank call that I thought he'd take as a joke and apologized for over and over. The stress of it was making me physically sick. And one night, he called me on the phone and told me he wasn't attracted to me...

I was reeling. I didn't know what to do or who I was. I ended up going to the dorm of my best guy friend on campus, M, and...I kissed him. And then the next day, he came to my dorm, and we made out.

I feel so guilty. I know what I did was wrong, and I can't describe the hatred I feel for myself. I told J because I figured he ought to know, and he called me a b***h and an a*****e. I told him I still loved him--because I do!--and he said I was a liar. He told me he didn't want to see my "f*****g face". This is probably the first time that words like that have been justifiable...

I understand it completely if he wants to break up with me, but I don't want to lose him. He's been the biggest part of my life for almost two years. I will never do what I did again. Is there any way to save this relationship?

He stepped on you and made you feel bad and told you he wasn't attracted to you and YOU feel bad because you spent time with someone who treats you right?
Hey, you aren't married and you have a right to look elsewhere..don't beat yourself up. I have dated people when i was younger who didn't treat me well, and i moved on and am glad I did.
The question is not if you can save this relationship, the question is, why would you want to?

VampireHunterD wrote:He stepped on you and made you feel bad and told you he wasn't attracted to you and YOU feel bad because you spent time with someone who treats you right?
Hey, you aren't married and you have a right to look elsewhere..don't beat yourself up. I have dated people when i was younger who didn't treat me well, and i moved on and am glad I did.
The question is not if you can save this relationship, the question is, why would you want to?

Winner winner chicken dinner. Find someone who will treat you like you're important and special. None of us is perfect, but no one should be called names, manipulated and controlled. You'll never be able to feel like you deserve better if you settle for less. It's a cycle and getting away from this jerk is a good start to breaking it.