Problem with sensitive and anxious girlfriend

by **0RH1** » Thu Sep 13, 2012 1:04 am

I think the problem is she is not always comfortable talking about stuff. He needs to find other ways to make her feel comfortable talking because just asking outright may make her feel uncomfortable and result in her not communicating.

0RH1 wrote:That's a tough one. How about asking her first if you want to discuss something, rather than just saying i want to talk about this ask her if she would feel comfortable talking about it and if she isn't ready or not in the right frame of mind for talking then say ok we will leave it and discuss it it when you're ready. Maybe just say to her that you will wait for her to indicate when she is ready for a talk. That way you are not coming across as pushy. If she is forced into a conversation when she is not ready she is more likely to communicate badly. Make it clear you are there for her and would never push into doing anything she's not comfortable with even if it's just a conversation.

I remember when i first started going to counselling how difficult it was to sit there and talk about how i was feeling and what i was thinking. It took me a long time to get used to the whole process. If she is not used to talking openly about stuff then forcing her to talk when she isn't ready will be really hard work for her, even if she is your g/f and is normally comfortable around you it may still be difficult for her to open up and talk at times. It may well be too much pressure for her. Your task is to ease the pressure and not increase it. You'll do that by making her comfortable and relaxed, she needs to know that you'' go along with her wishes and be there for her when she is ready.

You're right. I have to adapt to the fact that she is not doing it on purpose or because she doesn't love me, but because she needs to learn how to come out of her shell first and feel comfortable with it. I find I sometimes have trouble understanding these things because I never had that trouble, so I don't get why it's so hard. I am understanding it slowly as it goes by, and I want to try to be an understanding person. When I hear other people talk about it, it helps me to understand.

katana wrote:Have you tried asking her what's going on (i.e. did she tell you this is what's going on with her, or are you guessing?) If guessing, why not just ask what's actually going on for her, and ask what would make it easier?

Yes I try to communicate with her as much as possible. Although, she doesn't know the cause of the problems herself, since she says she's been like that as long as she can remember. But she does say that it bother her alot that she is like that, and is trying to make an effort to change.

Problem with sensitive and anxious girlfriend

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