My mind is spiralling out of control. What should I do?

I always feel like I’m so close to losing my boyfriend . . . he has just come back to me three days ago after cutting contact with me for almost ten days and acting REALLY distant for about three weeks before he cut contact (this was like utter hell for me because I got so worried and upset and thought he had broken up with me, but then the second he was back I was on top of the world, everything was okay again, everything in my world felt AMAZING, I was sooooo happy) and now I haven’t heard from him for only six hours, my mind jumps to conclusions and I feel like the exact same thing is happening all over again, I’m just so scared. I have this feeling of dread in my throat and I feel like I don’t want to do anything, nothing can make me feel any better, even if I go out I’m still thinking exactly the same thoughts and only going out to increase the chances of hearing from him when I get back. Right now, I feel like being sick.

He takes me to the highest of the high’s and the lowest of the lows (only when I don’t hear from him)

I’m not an anxious person at all and I can’t cope with it, this, anymore. It’s unbearable and suffocating. Every morning since he's came back, I wake up and all that’s on my mind is me wondering if I’m going to hear from him, it literally rules my day and is always hanging over me, I can’t be happy or relax until I’ve heard from him, he makes everything all right. I just love and care for this boy so much and he is always so good and means the world to me, that’s why my happiness is in his hands.

I think I need medication desperately?.

I kind of know how you feel. My girlfriend has BPD and she'll text me every two or three hours and be telling me she wants to get married, then next thing you know, I don't hear from her for a few days and then we talk and she wants to break up, then a week or so goes by and she says she misses me and wants to get back together. I am SO completely happy when she comes back and is feeling well and I'm on cloud 9, then I don't hear from her and it's pretty tough to deal with. I'm getting a little better with each time this happens, but it's still tough.

People will probably tell you to focus on yourself in the meantime and that's tough to do when you can only think of this other person and it consumes your world.

Best of luck.