Sexless relationship and need some help *sensitive nature*

Hello,

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1 year and half now, the first few months were the typical exploring each others bodies and having fun. But now for the past year our sexual relationship has gone down to just sex once a month or not that. And he can't seem to be able to perform for more than 10 minutes.
Now here is where it gets complex because he has told me about when he was a young child he was involved in a huge peodophile network that involved maybe over 100 children. I will not go into it but he has experienced some things young children should never see.
He tells me that he finds it hard to maintain a healthy sexual relationship with someone especially when he loves them so much, and that he has this feeling of guilt after having sex. He has been able to have one night stands as such before but he has explained to me this was because he can **** a girl when he has no connection with her but when it comes to a loving relationship he cannot be able to provide. He somehow feels like he is doing something to me that I do not really want. But I do reassure him that I enjoy it hugely! But now I have recently found him watching quite abit of porn and hiding the fact that he is. I confronted him about it but he tells me its to try and get his sexual inspiration back, but I see it as a betrayal to me. If we had a healthy sex life, he can watch all the porn he wants. But when I suffer and feel so low and depressed about it all, I start to want to give up and end this relationship.
We have used Viagra which does provide help and works well, but it is a lot in the mind also which makes it awkward.
I love this guy very much but I am a sexual person and I enjoy sex, especially with someone that I love.
We are looking into getting counselling but it is so expensive and I am now feeling ugly, alone, frustrated, and sad.

Any advise please?

Hun, firstly none of this reflects in any way upon you. It is perhaps because he thinks so highly of you that he is having these problems. Because he wasabused in the most horrendous way as a child, it is likely that sex has bad associations for him, and he is unable to equate sex with love. This is not his fault, and is a legacy of the abuse that he has suffered. It is essential that he has therapy for this, in order to begin to heal and find a way forward. As he has been abused as a child, it might be possible for him to receive therapy via his doctor, who might be able to refer him. This is something that is worth looking into. It might also help if you could Google help for adult survivors of sexual abuse in your area as there may be voluntary organisations who could offer help.

As you support him through this, I am wondering who is there for you? You may also be able to obtain help from the same organisation. I will take a look on Google tomorrow for you, to see if there are any resources for you.