My girlfriend has slept with 11 guys and gets jealous.

Hey guys! Sorry for my bad english!

My girlfriend has slept with eleven guys.

I'm the eleventh.

I only slept with two girls but that doesn't matter. I love her the way she is. She is perfect for me and our relationship is getting stronger day by day.

I just don't understand why she gets jealous if I always hang out with other attractive girls. Especially if I hang out with my exes. She gets jealous and paranoid. I always tell her that they are just "FRIENDS".

I don't cheat and likewise to her as a faithful couple.

One that really bothers her a lot is when every time I hang out with her best friend. Yes, I slept with her best friend 3 night stand but that was waaay before when I didn't met her.

She sometimes tell me this. "Do you still like my bestfriend?", "Do you still like your ex?"
I tell her "NO, I love you. You are perfect to me. You are the only one I want. Why you say that?"

I love her so much.
She also tells me this

"I have never felt this way before. I love you. Please don't leave me"

Of course I won't leave cause I love her.


She has a dead boyfriend. Her dead boyfriend is the one who entirely mold her identity of the way she is now. Actually, I consider her dead boyfriend as one of her best relationships she ever had. The reason why she slept with lots of guys, unintentional one night stands, short term relationships cause she wants to be needed. She can't get over with her past dead boyfriend and she was insanely depressed back then. The sad thing though is that her dead boyfriend cheated on her and slept with her best friend 2 years ago.

Probably the reason why she gets jealous and paranoid cause I slept with her "other" best friend. But man that way before already. I slept with her other best friend YES but that was the time that when didn't met her yet and I love her now! geez.

Well I'm glad that she finally moved on of her dead boyfriend but except about the best friend issue.

I understand that she has a horrible past experiences with her exes, unintentional one night stands and her broken family but her jealousy and paranoia will sometimes go overboard when I hang out with attractive girls, her new closest best friend and my exes.

I tried so many ways to convince her to forget her past about her bestfriend and stuff but still gets jealous. I don't want this relationship to go downhill because of that.

What am I going to do?

Sometimes people have such bad experiences, and all you can do is be there for her. The whole 11 guys thing is inconsequential, it sounds like she knows she makes bad choices, and is doubting herself.

I equate some people to emotional burn victims, the slightest reminder of the past burn, feels just as real as when it actually happened. The jealousy and pain won't go away till they truly heal their wounds.

Aside from supporting her, comforting her....one of the best ways to help her is to encourage her to perhaps get some help in sorting through her emotions, which with help her learn how to develop some confidence and self worth.

It sounds like you're doing everything you can to reassure her. Perhaps you could also include her when you visit your friends.

The death of her boyfriend, and the fact that he cheated on her will have had a huge effect upon her, and left her with a sense of unfinished business and lack of closure, with so many unanswered questions.

Has she had therapy for her loss, and would you also consider couples counselling?

If you know that hanging out with your exes hurts her, then why do you keep doing it? You must have other friends that you haven't dated before. If your past relationships are more important to you than your current relationship with her, then you should end your current relationship and stop stringing her along.

If it is so important to you, to keep up a relationship with an ex, then you should find another girlfriend who is OK with you hanging out with exes. You are hurting your girlfriend very badly for very selfish reasons. It is unfair for you to keep dating her if you also refuse to stop seeing your exes.

Breaking up with her will hurt her more in the short term, but will help her more in the long term, and will save her from chronic mental anguish.

Make a choice: your girlfriend, or your exes. You can only chose one or the other, since she has made her pain quite clear. Even if you don't know WHY your actions are hurting her, you do know that you are hurting her! Wouldn't you want to stop that?