Is he/we/me fast forwarding?

Any advice on how to proceed would be appreciated!

Met a guy at a venue, he asked me out for a date.

We went to a bar and a club on a Friday. Had a great time. Kissed a lot and I he asked if I wanted to go back to his house .we slept together I stayed over, we ate breakfast in a cafe the next day.

I find him very attractive and want to get to know him further. I am not looking for a casual relationship.

He asked me that day to come to his birthday dinner the next weekend. I said I'd get back to him.
He text then phoned me me on the Tuesday, I suggested that we met before the sat, he said thursday and i asked him to met me for lunch. I went to met him on his lunch break. We ate together.
I took my friend to his birthday dinner on the saturday. It was a small gathering and his sister was there. I stayed over and spent the whole of sunday with him, we went out for a meal with his sister and boyfriend, helped him clean his house and we had sex again. I left at like 7pm. It was nice.

Now, I've been guilty of fast forwarding in the past and Ive also experienced future faking. My last experience like this was horrible. I waited 6 dates before anything sexual with him and he still dumped me in a horridly disrespectful way. Im no naive, inexperienced lady. I have a ###$ buddy whom I call on when I need. I have expressed major concern about my need for casual sex in the past and have posted on here!

Anyways, its a womens prerogative to let sex happen this early and I am determind to monitor where this goes. because the sex is good so it can most definitely cloud my vision. I do not want to be a causal fling or a short term fizzle out with this guy. Unless of course he shows me some signs which make us incompatible. For the first time in a while I see him as having high potential.

I know I'll find out eventually what he's about and what he's after. I already know he's after sex (like all men) but is he available for more? Because there are two kinds of girls those who good for right now and those who have potential for long term marriage etc...wonder which one he's put me in?

Am going to slow it down slightly to see......but any suggestions from you guys on how to proceed would be great....as sex can mess things up!

x

I don't know about how to proceed, but it doesn't seem to me like you are in a "only good for sex" pigeon hole, because you've started meeting his family, and gone to a birthday dinner. Both those indicate a connection in his mind above and beyond the horizontal one.

Don't slow things down so far that he could misinterpret it as lack of interest, but you want to feel comfortable with the pace too, so, up to you.

Keep us posted!

Thanks Ada!

I don't want to slow things down - but Im just someone who gets slightly jumpy when I do risky things like have sex on the first date. I don't think I am just good for sex in his mind, we've got loads in common and seem to be progressing, its just it could be a high intensity fling that lasts a short time. Which I suppose is ok if we not not compatible, I'm just hoping that he sees potential in me for something more.
Lets hope I see potential in my self?

This is probably the reason why I have been comfortable with FWB situations before because theres no pressure on myself. I seem to take a few days to process new situations and over think. Its been a symptom of my depression to over think and just think the worst. Its got me into a few dilemmas in the past.

Anyway, last night we went to the cinema and then hung out afterwards going for a walk and sitting on a bench with a drink. Its our 4th date and I asked him when his last long term girlfriend was. He said it was about a year ago and then asked me why I asking. I was slightly on edge yesterday so I know he was picking up on that a little bit. He then asked me if I was asking because he kept texting someone whilst we sat (he did say he needed to speak to someone). I didn't think anything of that. But he assumed I was thought it was a girl....lol

I then asked him how long he was with his ex,he said he didn't want to talk about it. I then said that I don't want to know all the details just how long, as if it was very recently then it is information that I is important. He didn't want to talk about it any further. Further in the conversation and after some silence he asked me if anything was wrong - I said that i was cool but that it takes a while to get comfortable with silence with new people - as I'm a talker and can just talk a lot sometimes because theres a silence. Its a sign of nervousness I guess. He then said that I've know him for three weeks and that I know enough about him - I said that I know some, but as we spend more time will get to know him better. He seemed surprised by this statement.

Its interesting that he said 'what more do you need to know' - I hope I wasn't coming across as interrogating, i was really just trying to gain facts about him as all people do in dating.

Maybe he's made his mind already and has just realised that I'm still processing?
seriously 4 dates is nothing, it takes a lot longer than that !

As part of my neurosis I will keep typing about this new date - hope you have any useful insights lol

Nattykr wrote:He then said that I've know him for three weeks and that I know enough about him - I said that I know some, but as we spend more time will get to know him better. He seemed surprised by this statement.

Men are, with apologies to those who are reading right now, hilarious! After three weeks, he thinks you know enough. What is he, James Bond? 'Got a gun, a licence to thrill, and a smooth bedroom style. What what more do you need to know?!' I suppose he said that because he thinks he knows enough about you. Also hilarious. But not in a bad way.

And, isn't being neurotic in a new relationship "normal"? I think I always was. Though I haven't been on a date in over 4 years, and have been single for 8 years out of the last 10. Clearly no great expert.

No worries Ada!

I've decided to take him out for the day on Saturday. Daytime = less emphasis on sex.
Although we may struggle keeping our hands off each other. Last night we went to a gig, with friends (we had both booked the same gig before we started dating) ended up leaving together and having some steamy time outside - yes we couldn't wait until his house. I can't stop thinking about it. My heart beats really fast when I think about it.

Whatever happens - I'm certainly enjoying this!