Am I a bad person?

Look, I'm very for making this long but I need some advice.

Heres the WHOLE story.

I was a 17 year old kid, never had a girlfriend. Met this girl named Emma. Me and her became friends very quickly, which turned into hooking up and we eventually dated a month after we met. Things were amazing, we were amazingly in love and she was my first time having sex. However, a few months into the relationship I noticed she was texting her ex boyfriend, lets call him Caff. I was obviously upset at first but Emma told me she was done with him. Her ex had physically abused her and cheated on her with her best friend. She would tell me she just talked to him cause she wanted to. And I let it go, no matter how much it killed my self esteem and hurt me. And so, a month later, we broke up (for the first time). It turns out that first time we brokeup she kissed her ex that day. We got back together a few days later, and she didn't end up telling me about her kissing her ex a few months later. I was upset when she told me, but I forgave her.

I left for college. In college, about a week or two in, I yelled at her for not making time for me. This was one of a few times I freaked out on her, and she left me. She would ignore my calls and texts and so I got mad and cursed her out and said terrible things. So She blocked me from her phone and every social media. We were broken up for a few months until this January we got back together. And everything was great. It was like we never really brokeup. However, a few months in she said she wasen't over all the mean things I said to her, and she wanted to try being single since she was always in a relationship her whole life. I wasen't okay with it, but I agreed. So, we tried to be friends.

Now, a few weeks ago, we went to a dayglow concert. I got the tickets before we brokeup, but still I wanted her to go with her friends and have a good time regardless. I told her it would be a bad idea to see each other at the concert cause I'd just be hurting myself knowing I'd only see you for a few minutes and then she would leave me for her friends. But still, she begged for me to see her so I agreed I would.

At the concert, I was drunk and for whatever reason, I felt like she was just using me for the concert and never planned on seeing me. So, I cursed her out through text. I left the concert, until she called me crying when she got the texts. I ran back to the concert to talk to her, but in my drunken state I guess it was all nonsense. She was upset, and being stubborn because I wanted to take her back to my dorm so I wouldn't get an underage. She wouldn't listen, so I yelled at her. She cried and I continued to yell.

Needless to say, the next day I tried apologizing but she wouldn't answer. She was going to end things just like she did last semester, so this made me mad. I cursed her out again through text.

This apparantly was the last straw. She says shes upset all the time and cries randomly for no reason. She says whenever I apologize now its bull****, and she never wants to get back together again. She doesn't even want to talk to me and she said to leave her alone.

I guess what I'm asking is, am i an emotional/verbal abuser, or am I just still holding in all the anger from her ****ing me over and making me feel second best to other guys when we were together?

Please, be honest. Thank you for your time

is what your doing emotionally abusive? ... that is really the question, the question is why and how to stop it if you are....

to be honest... it sounds like yes you got anger issues. but it also sounds like if this is guy #2 for her that has anger issues it sounds like she may be provoking them to some extent.

you might do well to learn a healthy dose of self-control yourself, but she probably could learn to stop provoking guys on purpose...

- Labor.

is relative to say about someone if the person is good or bad. depending on which part look at it. strictly on your case ... I do not think you're a bad person .. is only one situation and we as human beings, tend to treat different situations that we have

^ Agree.

I don't think you're a bad person, and I don't think that's a useful way to think about yourself. It sounds like you were out of control of your emotions, made a mistake, and maybe hurt someone else after being hurt yourself. You don't sound like an abuser to me, but this might be a dysfunctional situation.

If you don't behave this way with other people, you might just be triggering one another. It sounds she doesn't want contact anymore, so you need to cut it off completely too. It doesn't mean that you're an abuser, just that in this situation, with this person, you behaved below the standards you would like to have for yourself, imo.

It sounds like you both like drama. Although you are only 17 and relationships can be very dramatic in teenage years, is when you are learning about these things.

She doesn't sound very emotionally mature, I'd go further and say that she is using the attention from the both of you to fill some void. She sounds fickle.

You also sound impulsive and like anger could be an issue - but as the poster above mentions if this is regular behaviour for you then your already aware of it if its just her then your probably attracted to the dysfunction more than the relationship.

please keep educating yourself about healthy relationships.

x

this depends on each person's perception. for somebody you may be a good person and for other person a bad one. so..stay relax

nobody is inherently bad or good. and this is not the first or last mistake you'll ever make.