What should I do about my cousins (###$ up family)

Hi,

I'm going to summarise all of this, else it will be really tl;dr. This is complex, I appreciate your patience and careful reading should you respond. I have summarised as best I can without comprimising coherence.

I'm 21, male.

My "father" (Yes he is, DNA test was done after he was refusing to pay childcare) was having an affair when my mother got pregnant, when he found out, he wanted me aborted. My mother refused and raised me as a single parent. Now my father was very close (business partners) with my aunty's husband and this eventually drove a massive wedge between the family by the time I was 8/9 as they (my aunties side) ended up fairly close with both he, his mistress and the two children of theirs. My mother naturally did not like this when she discovered and we didn't speak to them for pretty much a decade.

My father has had NOTHING to do with me, has begrudged me everything (even basic child support) and dragged me through a blaitantly unnessecary DNA test when I was just 7. I've never recieved anything, birthdays, christmas, nothing - not even the time of day.

Anyway, cut a long story very, very short - semi-recent events have brought me and my cousins side back together (the last 3 years both a death of one of my aunties children and the birth of my half brother on my mothers side). However, there are some severe problems.

My auntie is fine, she auctualy resents what has happened because of her husband. But, I knew my cousins (my aunties children) have been very close with not only my fathers mistress and their children in our absence. This is fine and I did not blame them for it.

This all changed in the last week or two. I popped in to drop some cards off as it was two of my cousins birthdays (they're twins), I didn't notice as I entered the living room the fact that both my so called "father" and his whore were sitting the opposite side of the room. As I was passing them their cards, I glanced over and immediately felt sick. There was my father, who had **** all to do with me for 21 years - dropping birthday wishes off for MY cousins (remeber, they're not his family) with his whore sitting next to them. He just looked away, and when I fixed my gaze on her so did she. I retreated into the back room to speak to another cousin to simply verify that that was infact, him. Upon confirmation I saw red - and did the most dignified thing I have ever done in my life. I walked back into the living room, out the front door (though I did slam it) and I walked back to the car and drove off. And trust me, I could have flayed him alive.

Anyway, it's been about a week and a half. I haven't spoken to any of them except my auntie. There is one particular cousin who is particulary close with them - the rest I really don't know. My mother is so angry about it, and naturally so. I'm a bit more flippant, afterall - I grew up without them or indeed much of a family but It does put me in an awkard position. She's been hawking said cousin's twitter and found that (despite the fact that she didn't even come around for my 21'st) she's sent a message to my brother on my fathers side that she will be round for his 20th.

Naturally this makes it clear to me what she is at - but what about my other cousins? I don't know what their position is in all this and wether it would be drastic of me to cut them all off except my auntie.

It's seriously ****** up. Why are they putting them before me?

Thanks for reading.

Case Load, it's horrible that your father treated you that way and that your cousins don't try to be close to you and show you consideration. You're their flesh and blood after all.
You don't have to cut anyone out of your life... You could maybe confront them with how it makes you feel, in email if not face to face. Maybe give them a chance to see that they're being unfair to you?
They don't deserve you if they don't want you in their lives and if they don't put themselves in your shoes.