xdude wrote:Imfreakedout wrote:I like this. Perfect analogy of the person Im STILL dealing with. The girl im dealing with has no clue how serious her actions are.
One of the things I didn't understand long ago was reading comments from psychologists like 'is likely to know more about what is going in the life x, y, z person on TV than friends/family in real life; is likely to watch a lot TV series; and so on. That was true of the woman I met. As we all know, fictional/fantasy life is more dramatic, more ideal, and certainly a lot safer than real life.
What I didn't get for a long time was that while some people withdraw into fantasy/fiction it's obvious when they do, in great part because they tend not to socialize except maybe online where it's safe. But there is another way too.
To be very outgoing, interacting with others, yet to remain emotionally in a safe/dramatic/idealized mental state where what's out there is the fantasy/fictional world. And a person like that can be very successful with others. Many of us love watching/reading some fiction/fantasy because the people act larger than life, we love the drama, and all of our attention is focused on the act, and sometimes the actors. Of course actors can be all of that because it's entirely safe - there is no real consequences in fantasy land. In real life it's less safe, unless someone has a mental blind spot when it comes to perceiving the consequences to themselves and others. We end up so confused because the thought that the person we're dealing with doesn't perceive themselves, us or the rest of the world in the same way we do never enters our mind. We try to make sense of each other based on a basic assumption that the person we're talking with perceives the world in more or less the same way we do.
At some point I started to see it. She lives out there, in the real world, except she really doesn't. But she lives out there because she was successful at it. At getting attention, for all the reasons actors in fiction do, and perhaps the real reason, by keeping the attention level turned up to 110%, avoids having to listen to more painful feelings emanating from inside. I came to see that she lived like that for so long that she really believed that the persona/role she was playing moment to moment was herself.
xdude are you sure were not talking about the same person LOL? This girl I was with is obssessed with the Kardashians and Jersy Shore. Her personality seems like a combination of the Kardashian sisters, Snookie and Deena. This is how she lives her life. The attitude, hair, make-up, fake bake, partying ect. I was discussing the latest thing she has done to me with a friend and he was saying how she doesnt realize the consequences of her actions toward me. I really dont think she has a clue what she is doing and how she looks toward other people. She has done some wierd stuff during our realationship that freaked me out and what you say makes perfect sense to me. I always thought she was "living" her own reality tv show thats why its funny to me you used that anology. Another thing I should mention shes a facebook whore....on it all the time. Uses multiple accounts too.
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