Could use some advice

I've been seeing this guy for the last year and a half. During this time, we've had some amazing times and some really hard times. We have had some really big set backs. He has these female friends that he keeps in touch with and who won't move on with their own lives. Each of these women, he has had an intimate relationship with (at times overlapping) and it is one of those things where a phone call can be made as well as arrangements if you get my drift. Even though I've caught him in lies about things he has told me about this continuing involvement, we still keep trying. Among the things he has lied to me about are, having an STD (after we were six months into a relationship); a sexual involvement with a female friend of ours who happened to be one of his best friends girlfriends; giving me an STD; and continued contact with these woman. I know you are probably wondering, Why stay with him? I'm intelligent, attractive, own my home, and have an excellent career. So, no I'm not your run of the mill type person who just needs a man. I'm okay with just me. My answer is that I still have hope that he will settle down and be different. He is also an attractive, established man as well. We are a bi-racial couple. First for me, not for him. My question for advice is how do I deal with his lying and apparent need for this attention from other women? My friends are really frustrated for me because they know the type of person I am and he is and they think I should dump him and find someone who will truly appreciate everything I have to offer. I need objective advice because I'm not a quitter until I have no hope left. Any suggestions?

pixietg917 wrote:I still have hope that he will settle down and be different.


I need objective advice because I'm not a quitter until I have no hope left. Any suggestions?

That's your first mistake - waiting for him to change. Sure, he might but the relationship might be quite irrelevant at that stage.

Don't look upon making this better as a challenge. Shake off your tenacity for just this one thing and get him out of your life.

yeah, it's a waste of time to wait and hope for a man to change.

many women believe in the romantic notion that their love will change a man...it only happens in the movies! maybe they will change their habits but not their character, that is highly unlikely.

i get the feeling that the good times you had sort of make up for the bad which leaves you with hope (he must be some charmer)
i'm all for giving somebody a second chance, but sounds like you have given him more than enough, really, there is no"dealing with his lying..etc" it is simply unacceptable!

Never a more truthful word said: "unacceptable".

...and like you said pixietg917, you are successful and while you say that he is successful too you have to give him another title. i'm thinking along the lines of 'immaturely successful'. You don't need this. There are nice, easy-going, successful guys out there just waiting for and seeking people like you.