I Resent My Girlfriend

My girlfriend absolutely infuriates me in every way.. there's been to much past stuff to mention on here so il just start with the latest and possibly final straw as i will eventually leave her. Right so its the summer holidays and i have moved in with her as ive finished college and going to university in September, i moved in in April and things were going quite well for a couple of months. We were both looking for jobs and spending time with each other, although it was solely me coming up with ideas for things to do. it then got to the start of august and i thought there is no point me looking for a job any more as i start UNI in Sept and have to move away, then she gets a job and totally changes i dont even know her any more! all through the holidays she would bum round in tracksuit bottoms, no make up and hair tied back, now she has died her hair a different colour, wakes up an hour earlier to put a full face of make up on and straighten her hair! fair enough you have to look presentable but why did she not make the effort for me all them months? i have tried countless times to talk to her about how i feel but she just nods and agrees with what ever i say. i even stopped talking to her for three days and when ever she came back from work she totally ignored the fact i was wasn't talking and carried on like nothing was wrong, not even asking me if anything was up.

She even planned nights out with her new work mates without telling me. I know what people are going to say, that im being silly and i should feel flattered that shes comfortable enough around me to not wear make up, but im not, it would mean the world to me if she just made the effort for me once in while without it feeling like a chore for her or out of guilt that she does herself up for a shelf stacking job.

also in the 3 years we have been together she has not made a move on me once!

i just feel that she couldn't give a shiny one about me. To be honest all i want is for someone to say they been through the same thing so i dont feel so alone, because thats how it makes me feel she has her family around her and i don't.

So yeah let me know what you think?

obviously she isnt for you...ill just leave it at that.

i wont agree, cause i think your being silly personally.

I dated a guy, at first i got made up, as time went on i didn't bother much. He moaned about that. Why don't you dress up he'd (we were only staying in watching TV)
This coming from someone who live in football shirts and jogging bottoms!!

What I'm saying is, do you dress up smart/cool for her, or do you just slop around?

Beat her at her own game, start looking good make her wonder about you. If that don't work, time to move on.

Who the hell wants to dress up and put make up on, on the days you have nothing planned but relaxing and watching tv. Fair enough if you didn't live together and she was coming to your house looking as if she just got out of bed but as you live together, not putting make up on when you have no where to go or nothing to do in your own home is perfectly acceptable. If my boyfriend asked me to dress nicer and wear makeup on weekends when we are both chilling out I'd find a new boyfriend who didn't care how I looked when I wanted to watch tv.

yes i do try and look good for her. and i also do nice things for her like tidy the place and bring her flowers once in a while.... and i never did mind about the not wearing make up thing but the thing that gets me is the sudden change! i will always think she is beautiful but she also looks very good when she makes an effort so what im saying is why do i never get to see that! i shave my head to a 0.5, if i got a new job and suddenly started to dress different, grow hair and spike it she would think 'hang on' why the sudden change. so i don't think im being silly.. no one is born paranoid they are given a reason to be!!!

Think about it.. It's her JOB! Have you stopped to think that maybe she rather spend an hour with you than getting ready in the bathroom.

Putting make up and doing your hair for work is a CHORE and when we are home we want to be free. I undestand that every now and again you have to dress up and be nice for you partner. But not always.

Also another problem might be that you have too much time. She gets up get ready and go to work she obviously will be somewhat tired and just want to hang out with some confortable clothes and all.
But you spent the day at home and had not a lot else to do. Maybe you could find something to ocuppy your time. I'm not trying to be mean or anything but when you have a lot of time and your partner is busy things can be complicated.

About friends from work... well that is quite expected. She is meating new people. And if she making plans with them bother you, ask her to include you. Say you would like to meet her new friends. But DON'T be an jealous ass about it.

Same thing will happen to you when you move to go to Uni. And she'll have to understand just like you will have to understand.

Energy90 wrote:yes i do try and look good for her. and i also do nice things for her like tidy the place and bring her flowers once in a while.... and i never did mind about the not wearing make up thing but the thing that gets me is the sudden change! i will always think she is beautiful but she also looks very good when she makes an effort so what im saying is why do i never get to see that! i shave my head to a 0.5, if i got a new job and suddenly started to dress different, grow hair and spike it she would think 'hang on' why the sudden change. so i don't think im being silly.. no one is born paranoid they are given a reason to be!!!

i dont even....how dare she not spend a hour+ in the bathroom so she can be lazy at home. how dare she../sarcasm

do you never go out with her? go to a restaurant if you wnat her to get made up...but at home? thats just selfish.

whats the reason?

To stop talking to her for three days is abusive, and good on her that she didn't rise to the bait. It is rather like a small child sulking. Maybe she feels alive and stimulated when she is in work, hence the effort? Do you make any effort to be stimulating? You talk about her perceived faults and not her good points. Do you care enough to look for her good points? Are you entirely without faults yourself? Do you ever pay her compliments or make her feel good about herself? Maybe she doesn't make the effort because she feels that you wouldn't even notice if she did. You say you are going to leave her eventually, is she even aware of this? It sounds like you are biding your time till "something better" comes along, and this is cold and calculating. Do you still love each other? If not, there is no point in staying together. I think that a part of you does care about her or you would not be posting on the board, and you say you feel that she does not care about you. If she meant nothing to you at all, this would not bother you. It takes two people to make a successful relationship and you must also pay your part and take some responsibility. This means open communication, maybe by writing a letter. Be careful how you word the letter, and do it in a way that does not make her feel worthless.