What to do? Relationship advice.

Ok, this is a long and semi-convaluted story, so please bare that in mind.

As a brief history, I am a 25 year old USMC combat vet, and have been diagnosed with PTSD. All of these events happened since I have been out of the service however.

I ended up in a relationship with this girl, whom I had 'tried' dating before, we had met through mutual friends at a party a bit more than one year ago. She seemed really cute, and fun to me, and I talked to her. She ends up passing out before I can get her number. I have my friend (a female) talk to her (they knew each other) and ask if she'd be interested in talking to me, and she said yeah, she received my number from my friend and contacted me.... We 'dated' for about 2 weeks before I found her to be far too 'clingy' for myself, and I ended things... She was acting as though we were at the 'couple' status when we had simply gone on a couple of dates, and I just wasn't ready for that kind of speed in moving along in a relationship.

Anyways, nearly 1 year later we end up running into each other at a local pub. I am not looking for a relationship, or hook-up or anything of the sort, I had just been hurt by a girl because I was looking for a GF, and she didn't want a BF because she was graduating the local college and moving back home, so completely understandable, but the way she went about telling me this was just shady.

None the less, we run into each other and exchange greetings, and keep it very friendly... It isn't long though before I realize that she is beyond drunk, and was in no shape at all the drive the 25 minutes home, so being a nice guy, and a 'friend' I offer to have her stay over my house, and I will sleep on the couch, she agrees, but when we get home she just tries to hook-up with me, I inform her that I am not interested in just 'hooking up' and that I was genuinely being a nice guy and giving her a ride to a safe place to stay for the night, and not trying to take advantage of her (like I know most guys at the pub would have attempted)

Anyways, we start hanging out again after that, because she was still fun to hangout with, and appealed to my 'party animal' side, by being one of the gals that can hang with the guys and drink whiskey, and smoke butts, and have a good ol' time. She is spending the night almost every night that first week we started seeing each other, and we did end up 'hooking up' probably the third night she stayed over.

Shortly there after I find out that she had hungout with, and made out with somebody I know, during that same week we had hungout together.What happened was, she went to a St.Pattys day parade with her gal friend, I was invited but had prior obligations, so she says she just went with her girlfriend, and 'ran into' this fellow from the pub and they all hungout because she was worried to wander around drunkenly with just her girlfriend... In reality, she had exchanged numbers with this fellow while we were all at the bar together, she called him to ask them all to meet up and go to the parade together, and ended up making out with him and going to his house after the parade where she claims 'nothing happened.' I find this all out because a month later she had left her facebook profile signed in on my computer, we both have the same picture of us as our main picture so I didn't think that it wasn't mine and clicked the 'new message' icon, and saw that it was from that guy, and that she had said to him 'if ___ asks about what happened, tell him we just made out once' She fed me a string of lies about what happened, but I informed her that I knew the real story, and she 'admitted' to it (admits to 'drunkenly making out with' but not having sex with that person, and only sent that facebook msg to him to make sure he didn't make stuff up to tell his pals and have me find out about it.... yeah likely story)

Anyways, that has been eating me up from the git go, and since then it's just been fights about everything, she more or less moved into my apartment piece by piece without my OK, within the first month of 'seeing each other' and now has most of her stuff at my apartment. We fight about money, what to do, her being her too much, everything really. I tell her that I wasn't and am not ready to have somebody living with me, and she guilts me by saying that it's my fault, and I shouldn't have 'lead her on' and let her bring stuff over if I wasn't ok with it, and that its so unfair of me to suggest that.

The money is another issue, I receive a pension from the military for my injuries sustained from my deployments. She see's that as me 'getting free money' and it seems as though she has no qualms with expecting me to buy EVERYTHING. I currently pay the entirety of rent, and all utilities (as I had thr apt before she 'moved in') I pay for food 95% of the time as well, and for just about everything if we 'go out' for a night. She works, but it's a low wage job, and she works only 20-28 hours a week, but she has a bachelors degree as well. Almost all of her money from work goes to gas, her car payment, and her bills... leaving me to cover everything else. I do not see that as fair, and when I bring that up, I am being an asshole, and flaunting my money in her face, and it's again my fault because I am the one who wants to go out, etc.... see a pattern yet?

Basically it is just getting to the point where we argue, or are mad at each other 2 out of 3 days together. When we aren't arguing we have a good time together, but those days seem rare. When we do really get into it, she screams and hollers, and as such has gotten my neighbors to threaten to call the police on me. She throws and breaks things (usually her own things) will tear up pictures of me and her, and will lock herself in my bathroom and cut herself, and has also told me that after a fight in which she left my house, and went 'home' she took a handful of random pills from the medicine cabinet because she couldn't deal with the situation anymore. I am no saint, I get mad too, and I yell, but I won't strike her, she on numerous occasions has punched me, slapped me, or pushed me, knowing that I cannot do anything because she is a female. When I do grab her arms to stop her from hitting me, or to dislodge a handful of pills from her hand, she cries and says that I am trying to hurt her.

All of these things have added up and now I feel less intimately attracted to her. I am a very sexually active male, and this is out of character for me to not desire physicality while in a relationship, but I guess I am not feeling it intimately anymore. That was what our last fight was about, because I 'never want to hookup, so that must mean I think she is disgusting' and no matter how I word my answer, I am again, wrong and a dick head.

We have been together going on 6 months now. I really do CARE about her, I do not want to see her hurt, or have her hurt herself, or anything. But I do not know if I can deal with this continued drama.

Hi, str8trippin! Well, maybe she has to see for herself that she needs to take charge of her own life. It sounds a bit like you're "stuck", because if you confront her about anything she gets hurt and if you don't, things stay the same.
Have you talked to her family much? What do they think of the way she's living her life?
Maybe you could convince her to have some therapy, if possible, and deal with her issues, if she still wants to be with you. If she decides to change, and with support, things might get better with time.
What do you think?