father daughter relationship going down the tiolet.

Hey. My main problem with my life is my father. he is a good guy. BUT. I cannot stand his short temper. the slightest things tick him off, ever since i became 13 my dad has changed his attitude torwards me. everything i do is wrong. everything i say is wrong. i constantly have to tippy toe around shattered glass when i am around him just to try not to tick him off.


I manily joined because i would like some help with how to deal with him on the regular.


first off. I do everything around here. I am the house wife minus the 'wifeley duties' i cook, and clean. he makes me cater to him. I cook every day. i clean the whole house everyday. and he still finds something to complain about. In my head. all he does is go to work. come home and stress me out by complaining ALL DAY LONG!


you sleep to much. ( I thought teenagers were SUPPOSED to sleep as they are still developing.)
you never do anything but sleep. ( if that's true. how does your house get cleaned. what a fairy god mother? who cooks everyday? i don't suppose you do!)

I am fed up with his attitude with me. And i cannot stand it when he gets ticked off. i am expected to sit ther mute. and say not one word! if i say somthing i get something around the lines of

shut up! i am talking.

WHat makes me so mad about that is.

I could be talking and he just cuts me off like

ME:" ok, I am trying to tell you that I was"
Dad: " i don't care what you were doing " and keeps yelling about something.

then i ask can i finish my sentence because u just rudely cutt me off.

and then i get.

NO! I am talking shut up!

when i was talking in the first place. I find that not only ride to cut me off. but dirsrespectful for yelling at me because i was trying to explain to him something simple and then he yells at me to shut up cause he cuut me off and is now talking. WHAT!? and he gets the nerve to say i was disrespectful and out of order for talking. he is the only person i know who does that.


And i like if someone explains to me things so for example.

I get in trouble for something. i have no idea y i am in trouble. i just know that he's mad, and now monet is in trouble.

so i would ask

" ok, can you please explain to me why I am in trouble."

then i get something like
" you know y your in trouble. don't act dumb all of a sudden"

but in reality i really have no clue y I got in trouble in the first place!



BEfore i became 13 years old. we had a really good relationship. but AFTER 13 hit. it's going down the tiolet! At this rate he might as well kiss our relationship good bye with how he's acting.

I have not changed at all. i have not changed how i act, talk, work. nothing about me has changed. but everything about him has changed.

Hi Monet,

Gee you father sounds like an unappreciative bully.

Do you have a school counsellor or family member you could talk to? If you're going to be living with your dad for a while longer, I think you need to find a way to improve the relationship you two have. But that might be hard to do on your own. I think you should look for someone who can support you and possibly even talk to your dad if necessary.

yea That sounds right to me to me he is just a bully because he can be one.

don't get me wrong i love him. some what
but because he finds it ok to just , in my opinion, disrespect me. and think it's cool to tell me how i am. ( which in his eyes. what he sees me as is NOT me. it's what he sees. in life i'm not what he makes me out to be which it seems SOFAR to be

an ungreatful, lazy, non religous, bird obsesive, stupid, and a parasite that just takes takes takes.)


I can garentee you if i can get a counsler at school. i WILL be seeing one. because i don't know how much of this i can take.

and also I do not by any means intend to stay with his as long as i can. as soon as there is an opening for me to move i'm taking it. my mom can get me next year. well guss when i'm leaving then? a.s.a.p!

Reckon that if you stood up to him things would be okay? Like when he starts getting nasty because you've apparently done something wrong, telling him you are not going to listen to it unless he specifically tells you what the problem is. You could say to him "I will not listen to this", and leave the room. That might mean having a friend nearby who can pick you up or you can drive over to, or it might mean putting a lock on your bedroom door and turning up the stereo if he follows you and tries to talk to you through the door.

It's not fair on him to expect you to maintain the household. Maybe it's time to stop cooking and cleaning for him?

My dad went through a time where he would get really angry very quickly, and he'd take it out on everyone in the family - not physically, but he'd snap and yell at us all. Eventually mum decided she'd had enough, and said that we wouldn't be putting up with it anymore. If she saw dad yelling at any of us children for no good reason, she would say to him that it wasn't okay, and then turn to whichever child it was and say "You can tell dad that it's not okay for him to take his anger out on you". Then she'd pack us all up in the car and go to a friend's house, or take us to the movies, or something else that got us all away from dad while he calmed down, and we got to do something fun.

My dad isn't a bully, which does make a big difference. However, I guess my point for telling that story is to show that it's okay to stand up to a parent, and you can do it respectfully.

monet97 wrote:I have not changed at all. i have not changed how i act, talk, work. nothing about me has changed. but everything about him has changed.

This is not an excuse for his behaviour at all, but it's possibly that to him you have changed. By 13, many girls are well into puberty, and many dads find that scary.

Most respond in better ways though, and he's got no right to be disrespectful towards you, to expect you to be a housemaid, to complain about you.

well let's seee. I have tried that. and i got threatend to be slapped for standing up to him. and he didn't like that too much. he said something like i was talking back to him simply for correcting his asumtions of me. and straightend things out like

" no, i don't do that. i do this. that's what you think i do but i really don't i do this. "
or something and he came to my face and threand that if i try 'talking back' to him i'll be hit for it.

and no he really doesn't need to be acting so petty or blowing the simpliest things out of proportion .


as for the maid he got mad at me one day and hollerd and hooteed because i told him i feel like his maid not his daughter. because he expects me to do everything around the house and get an attitude because i didn't cook one day. or complains about something tiny. even if everything is clean he finds something to nitpick at.

and for that week he wouldn't let me do anything because he said i felt like a maide and i supposadly told him that i hated cooking. i hated cleaning. and that i hated all these things. but all i told him was i felt like his maide and not his daughter.