Friend will not respect boundaries

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Another prime example of "friendship" added to the record books. You are allowing this controlling manipulative behavior to continue by giving in to his demands. In allowing this, along with your inability to "distance [your]self" suggests you are deriving some level of satisfaction with the status quo.

He knows he's done wrong but won't admit it.

Both parties here are guilty.

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So he has demanded things and you have outright refused? You have to get tough. Be calm while putting him in his place.

He will not respect you, not just "boundaries." This whole thing seems like a huge waste of time. He's not going to change.

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Good for you in getting rid of a toxic person.

Were these friends you are now referring to talking about you as well, or were they an ear for him to speak badly about you? Does any evidence point in the direction of them being insincere, and/or that you are the source of their gossip?

EDITED FOR PRIVACY REASONS