Psychopath or just someone with problems?

she sound abit like my exgf (20 years old).
she got into a relationship and after a month or so she started flirting with others, looking at men as merchandise and always looking for an upgrade. she cheated on me, and got pregnant with another man while we were on a break, but said she wanted to keep it as well. she lost the baby she said, i suspect she aborted it. cause soon after i asked if she was OK? and we were back in the same routine again. promising me she would go in therapy but she never did so, she told me she just had had a session with a therapist but it was a lie. i am co-dependent, my mother is maybe borderline, or close to it. maybe thats why i got drawn to my exgf that way, she and my mom are very alike perhaps.
now i sit here bitter, hating my ex and loving here at the same time.
But i know that if we got back together she would only do it for control. nothing else. she cant love!

Welcome r2d2,

It sounds like you have been through a lot.
I'm impressed by your honesty and self-awareness. The fact that you can recognise your co-dependence and the similarities between your ex-girlfriend and your mother is really positive. Many people have difficulty identifying their problems, but once you've identified them you can take steps to resolve them.

Do you have anyone you can talk to about your relationship with either your ex-girlfriend or your mother? Maybe a therapist could help you.

thanks platypus, that's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a very long time
brought a tear to my eye.

i went to a therapist about 18 months ago, after my first relationship with a borderline.i was broken down, said i thought i had a personality disorder and alot came out, tears and everything. first ex was very cruel and projected every flaw onto me, it was a heavy time i could say.
my therapist said i did'nt have a disorder, but maybe som traits, traits of dependant pd maybe, at this time i was still idealizing my mom and had'nt yet opened my eyes for the truth, because the truth hurts i guess.
i don't have anyone special to talk about my relationship with, i just try to get the pain away on my own. and i have NC with my exgf, a bit because after she cheated on me and played games with me the very last time i wrote some hurtful things, laying it all out there on her facebook-profile. god im so ashamed. she deleted her profile and did'nt answer my apology-textmessage. that was for the best, because i have lived a life full of guilt and know thats why i have been easily manipulated, she did all those things, i wrote it on her wall. and now i sit her with a guilt trip i've never experienced before. even though i should just forget it and move on, but i can't. im trapped in eternal FOG maybe....

i should go to a therapist maybe, but 6 months waiting period and the fact that i know what is wrong stops me from it.

I can understand that you feel guilty about writing those things on Facebook. But it's in the past, and she deleted her account anyway.

People often do things they regret when they are very upset. Can you think what else you could have done to express your feelings? Maybe instead of typing on Facebook, you could have written on paper and then burnt it or cut it up? (Destroying something like paper can be cathartic.)

It's okay to make mistakes, but take the opportunity to learn from them. You now know that Facebook is not a good outlet for when you are feeling hurt. So next time use a different outlet.

I hope you can find your way out of the fog. It sucks that you have to wait so long to see a therapist.
Maybe keep posting on this website. And try to forgive yourself. You are still learning and growing as a person. You don't need to have every thing worked-out now. The answers will come in time.

i have been writing a lot in my writing book just to process it all and get an outlet.
it is hard to love a girl who never really cared about me, and i kinda hate myself for doing so.
i've had a rough childhood and i'm probably one of the weaker ones in society because of it, if i was stronger i would have told that girl after the first time she disrespected me that she could go to hell and cheat on somebody else, or fake a suicide attempe to gain someone else's sympathy. in that way saying: if you don't give me all your attention, im gonna do this.
but i have a mother who allways guilt-tripped me and my exgf did the same, because i was taught to care about other feelings more because mine did'nt matter much..

it's good to hear again what i know, that i don't have to fix it all at once, right now. i am going to take my time doing so, and stay away from toxic people. i have cut out many friends who were toxic.

me exgf broke up with me because i did'nt meet her for a week and had short tlf-conversations, she allways need to be stimulated by someone. and when she came to break it off she had'nt answered the day before for the whole day, and the pattern that had grown told me that history had repeated itself, she had been with another man, again. maybe she had found her upgrade in what she sees as a merchandise.