My sex drive compromises relationships

It seems like every relationship I have been in my sex drive has sabotage my relationship. I understand that a woman's libido is different than a man's, and I wont push the issue. But after two weeks my mood and attitude becomes toxic. I don't mean or want to be a jerk, nothing short of sex helps.I don't know if its pyschosomatic or not. Toys, oral sex and masterbation solo or mutual, does nothing for me. Any advice and suggestions would be most welcome.

Welcome MarcAlexander!

That sounds like it would be rather frustrating, especially if it kept happening.

What do you think sex (intercourse) gives you that masturbation doesn't provide? What is it that you crave about sex?

When you say your attitude becomes toxic, how do you behave? What is that you are thinking or feeling when you are like this?

Thank you for your welcome and response.

Yes it is extremely frustrating, coupled with my MDD it can lead to some bad decisions on my part.


Intercourse I actually climax, where as masturbation I just ejaculate. After intercourse I am energized, my mood improves. I think I crave the physical intimacy.

When I say my attitude becomes toxic; I'm very irratitable snap easily and without provacation. I'm on edge all the time. I feel like I'm bottling in my emotions and they're about to burst at the seams and that I'm walking on eggshells when I'm around the person. Sex runs through my thoughts frequently, especialy when I'm around someone I care about deeply. Every time I bring up sex and I am turned down or my partner is just not in the mood, I feel ugly, unattractive, and monstrous just for bringing it up. And each day that passes it compounds the issue.

What is about intimacy that you like or need?

Why would you feel ugly or unattractive if your partner turns sex down?

I wonder if you could have low self-esteem, and sex provides a way for you to feel good about yourself. Do you think that's a possibility? That could help explain why you may crave sex and react strongly to sexual rejection.

Just wanted to share that I know exactly how you feel! My partner could easily live without sex and it's killing me because I think I have an above normal sex drive. Being constantly rejected is really hard and does take a big chunk out of your self esteem. In my case though being the female and my partner the male who doesn't want sex also complicates things as apparently men are suppose to have a higher then average libido not the woman. I think talking it out and coming to a compromise is the only thing to do but then even that is hard because your asking someone to do something they really don't want to and sex is suppose to be about feeling good and enjoying yourself so if your partner has stated they don't want to and will not enjoy it how is the other person suppose to react.......... such a $#%^ situation.

Stalker

Seriously can we meet? Well maybe not seriously, but I am a female who used to have this same issue. It has to be in the Italian genes or something because I used to piss off some of my ex boyfriends because I wanted sex more than they did. I never thought that was even possible and used to get so frustrated, but I found my solution and there are two options really.

The truth is at least in my situation, I was not meeting men who were compatible with me sexually. Whatever the case was I was attracted to men who were dare I say, were less horny than I was and preferred sex a few times a week as opposed to everyday. (Oops? ) I had the same problem and at one point I thought I must be crazy or wired improperly to want sex more than most guys did...especially because all my boyfriends said I was amazing in bed, I know I'm attractive,and I never had any complaints other than that they wanted it less often. I started to realize it was more the guys I was choosing than a problem with me. I finally started to meet partners who were more excited for it and wanted to have sex just as much as I did and that changed everything.

My question is how do you talk to these women when you are trying to bed them? If you make it more loving and romantic they are less likely to take it as a problem and more likely to say yes. If they do reject, don't stand your ground because as you know that doesn't work, and instead just chalk it up for a loss for the night and try again with the same approach. We are more likely to say yes to guys who we feel want to make love to us as oppose to bend us over and get off. I used to get snappy too and trust me that does nothing for you. If you feel like you are about to be you need to find a coping mechanism to snap you out of it. Nothing is more unattractive than an angered, sex fiending partner. Think about how worth it this girl is to you as well when you feel like this, well if she is, if she isn't then obviously there is no point in continuing a relationship with her.

But in my honest opinion, you are dating the wrong women. There are plenty of women who are dying for a man with some excellent libido and a full sex schedule every night.

MissUnknown wrote:We are more likely to say yes to guys who we feel want to make love to us as oppose to bend us over and get off.

But in my honest opinion, you are dating the wrong women. There are plenty of women who are dying for a man with some excellent libido and a full sex schedule every night.

Those points. ! - partially anyway. I actually don't mind a guy just wanting to get off - sometimes -.

I can't say I've ever turned down sex or not wanted it... (only speaking as a woman here, not necessarily the women you're thinking of,) I'm not sure its even about making love/having sex, its more complex than that.

If you come across extremely turned on and wanting sex a lot, that can't be a bad thing, but i imagine if a woman feels like its something that's wanted/needed, so it depends what you mean by "nothing short of sex helps" - meaning helps with what?

If you are in a relationship, women generally like to feel that you want sex with each other, so if she feels its relief from bottling up your emotions you're after rather than sex with her if that makes sense, however much she doesn't want you to bottle up your emotions, she may feel hurt, whatever her libido is like.

I don't know about men and women having different libidos... not in my experience as a woman, but that's just me.

I don't know if any of that helps, of if I am barking up the wrong tree for you and your partner.

^ Agreed. See? There are tons of us!

Just to rephrase I wasn't saying that all women just want to make love only because that's certainly not even just for me either. But I meant to say it is an option to come off less aggressive to some women who are a little more reserved or not as libido'd out when it comes to the bedroom. But again, those women might not be the ones for you. So you can find them they definitely exist!

But in my honest opinion, you are dating the wrong women. There are plenty of women who are dying for a man with some excellent libido and a full sex schedule every night.

Then be with his ass.. smh

-- Thu Aug 25, 2011 9:37 pm --

i want this thread locked please