I need some help/advice :/

Letter wrote:
Dear Becky,

I believe this is the best thing to do for me, and I can't keep going on like this. Please understand. This is hard, and writing this and sending it is even harder. I need time to get ahold of myself. I don't know when we will speak again, but I'll be ready when the time comes.

I obviously don't want to see you with someone else, but if you think they are the one for you, then I don't want you to hesitate about going for it, only if you are ready. As much as it would hurt me, I do wish to see you happy. You deserve someone who's perfect Becky, because your pretty darn close. I'm sorry for everytime I ever may have hurt you, everything that I did wrong. I never wanted to upset you or change things, I just wanted to make you happy. I've learned alot from this.

I'll always have that piece of my heart with you in it. I will never forget about you, and I will always remember the fun that we shared. I'll miss you.


Goodbye Becky,

Fireman Sam.

Before I went, I said to her: 'i'm going to bed now. goodnight becky, please, take care' over msn. And then appeared offline right away and sent the email right away. Within 40 seconds I got a reply from her: SAMMMMM please dont !!!!! DONT DO THIS samueeel i needd you !!! SAAAMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :'(

I imediatly broke into tears. She also sent me a message over Facebook: SAAAMMMMM PLEEEAASEEEE DOONTT !!

And Myspace: never walk away what are you doing now :'(

And another on Formspring: pleeasseee samm

And a text 10 minutes later: why? why now? :'(

AND she made a Facebook status: Great! could life get any worse?

What have I done? This is killing me... I was never expecting such a response. I never cried so fast in my life..
I don't even know how I feel anymore... I'm confused of my feelings. I feel frustrated. I feel angered. I'm pretty sure I'm still inlove with her. Why was her reaction like that if she wants to be friends? I don't want to get over her right now, as crazy and insane that may sound, I still want to be inlove with her. I'm not ready to move on. I don't want to move on. If she tells me she doesn't want to be with me again, I'll let my feelings go. I don't understand why I feel like this...

F*cking hell...

Well, she definitely wants you in her life...

...maybe worth fighting for her, pal. Maybe it's time to be bold, almost cavalier about the situation. Let her wait awhile before you respond, be a bit macho with her. See if it works. Maybe that's what she's wanted all along. Someone who isn't all gooey over her. In the past, you've spilled your guts to her and told her you feel all mushy around her and asked her if she felt the same way. What if you never popped the question and always acted like she was a "maybe girlfriend" that you had them lined up around the block waiting for you? What if you act a bit more "heroic" in all this? A bit more like a stud type? She might have responded differently. She might have liked to just pal around and see where it went and then maybe she'd get more serious later on.

No disrespect, but you've acted like she's the only other person with you on a deserted island. You've been a bit of a lost puppy to her. Maybe she's a bit that way herself and she doesn't like that about herself so when she sees that in you, she doesn't like it. And, again, no disrespect, but you sound a bit wimpy with all the apologizing. What exactly did you do wrong?!? I don't get it.... hunh? It's time for you to hold your chin up high and be proud of yourself and go out that door, every day, like a man, into that big bad world and know that those pretty young things are missing out on a good lover if they pass you by (I know it sounds like corny macho b.s. but I'm on a roll here....)

She's kind of swept you off your feet here. I wonder if there's some way you could have, or might be able to, in the future, do that with her? On the one hand she says she doesn't like you, then she acts like she can't live without you. You need to spank that girl! Heheh....

But whatever happens happens, right? Why spend time agonizing over the outcome? Just ride it out and remember there's always, ALWAYS, ALWAYS (did you hear me?) MORE FISH IN THE SEA! Screw it, man. We all get older and our relationships are never as fun or as exciting or as heart throbbing as in the beginning. We all die and so what does it all matter anyway?

Cripes, you're young and time is wasting. You should be out having fun. If this girl has too many hangups, let her sit at home playing texting and internet games. Meanwhile, maybe you should go out with some buddies, go out and do some fun things, talk to other girls, God damn it. Then, you can come home and text her, tell her what fun you're having out on the town and she'd better think twice about what she's missing.

###$ all those cock tease #$%@es in this world. Just ignore them!

Again, please get other feedback before you try my stuff out.... I'm in a pretty squirrelly mood lately.

Jerril wrote:Well, she definitely wants you in her life...

...maybe worth fighting for her, pal. Maybe it's time to be bold, almost cavalier about the situation. Let her wait awhile before you respond, be a bit macho with her. See if it works. Maybe that's what she's wanted all along. Someone who isn't all gooey over her. In the past, you've spilled your guts to her and told her you feel all mushy around her and asked her if she felt the same way. What if you never popped the question and always acted like she was a "maybe girlfriend" that you had them lined up around the block waiting for you? What if you act a bit more "heroic" in all this? A bit more like a stud type? She might have responded differently. She might have liked to just pal around and see where it went and then maybe she'd get more serious later on.

No disrespect, but you've acted like she's the only other person with you on a deserted island. You've been a bit of a lost puppy to her. Maybe she's a bit that way herself and she doesn't like that about herself so when she sees that in you, she doesn't like it. And, again, no disrespect, but you sound a bit wimpy with all the apologizing. What exactly did you do wrong?!? I don't get it.... hunh? It's time for you to hold your chin up high and be proud of yourself and go out that door, every day, like a man, into that big bad world and know that those pretty young things are missing out on a good lover if they pass you by (I know it sounds like corny macho b.s. but I'm on a roll here....)

She's kind of swept you off your feet here. I wonder if there's some way you could have, or might be able to, in the future, do that with her? On the one hand she says she doesn't like you, then she acts like she can't live without you. You need to spank that girl! Heheh....

But whatever happens happens, right? Why spend time agonizing over the outcome? Just ride it out and remember there's always, ALWAYS, ALWAYS (did you hear me?) MORE FISH IN THE SEA! Screw it, man. We all get older and our relationships are never as fun or as exciting or as heart throbbing as in the beginning. We all die and so what does it all matter anyway?

Cripes, you're young and time is wasting. You should be out having fun. If this girl has too many hangups, let her sit at home playing texting and internet games. Meanwhile, maybe you should go out with some buddies, go out and do some fun things, talk to other girls, God damn it. Then, you can come home and text her, tell her what fun you're having out on the town and she'd better think twice about what she's missing.

###$ all those cock tease #$%@es in this world. Just ignore them!

Again, please get other feedback before you try my stuff out.... I'm in a pretty squirrelly mood lately.

I know she's worth fighting for. She's the [type of] person I want to end up marrying and spending my life with. There is nobody else that I know that can really compare to her. The day after the whole 'no contact' thing, she wanted to speak to me one last time. I heard her out, and she wanted to know why, and when she will talk to me again, and if she will ever talk to me again. She didn't seem too happy about it, but I answered my best. I told her that I have no idea when I'll talk to her, but she made me promise 6 months to be max (that's roughly how long it takes me to get over someone). She tried to make a few compromises with me. But I said no. She asked if I could unblock her on everything, and just not talk, then her next one was could she block me, so she can see when im online (she likes seeing me online apparently), but, I said no. I thought about it, and I kinda wanted that, but I can't give her control. I don't think she wants someone who's 'hard to get', just someone who will treat her right, put her 1st before them, all that stuff (I read it on one of her things once). I'll admit, I was trying to be that person, but I didn't go out of my way to do it.

The only thing I did that I guess affected the relationship in some way, was getting 'jealous' of her guy friends. There was sort of a trust issue, but not between me or her. It was her friends I didn't trust, and, I was correct. Theres already a few that are interested, and one that is really interested in her. And apparently she likes him a little bit. But she told me one of them is going to ask her out, and shes going to have to 'hurt them' and say no. - I'm guessing because she aint ready for a relationship. As I keep stating, her personality is what draws them in. Shes nice and caring, and they probably think she feels more for them.

That's what I want to do in the future, but right now, it's over for me and her. My friend was talking to her, and she said it could be months, years when she's ready to try again. I need to make myself better and more appealing to her when that time comes, you can tell me to move on, get over her etc, but there's always going to be that bit of her in my heart.
Hell, theres billions of fish in the sea, but who say's if I let this one go, I'll find a better one? I honestly, do not think they will get much better then this one. That being said, my generation is pretty much f*cked anyway, and its getting worse year by year. Sluts are starting at 12-13 now.

I think I will just go along with the flow.

If I may, I think you guys can just be friends, and not necessarily see each other anymore. Why do I say this? you're young, you have your entire life of relationships ahead of you. I thought my first girlfriend was going to be my soulmate forever, didn't work out that way.

Just saying, she is not the be all end all of your life, if she wants to play games (from what I can tell), then stop playing the game and start looking out for 'you'. If you're the type that wants give into whatever she commands of you, then go for it but I've also been there with other girls and it didn't end well either. What is most important is your happiness and if staying with her for now keeps you happy, just do it but just be careful and watch for the signs.

I completely agree with LeeC. Well said. Wise words, for sure.

We think someone is the ONLY one but that's just not true. We can find another. We may really appreciate their uniqueness and certain things about them, but we must remember there are many good people out there who are also original and interesting that can be really good for us to spend time with.

Well, sregi2? What's new? You haven't posted in a week... any new insights or developments with you?

Hmmm, well, nothing has changed much. But something did kinda happen today/tonight, pretty irrelevant. I've still got her blocked (been a week), and one of her promises/deals with me was she wouldn't drink again. I think she made that before or during our time together. Anyways, she went to a party and I'm sure you can guess what happened. Cause I got her blocked, messages got passed through one of my friends. She had tried to call me (twice), but my phone was dead and I didn't relise. She wanted to tell me she broke our 'deal', and also asked if I was online. I passed a message back saying I'm dissapointed in her, and her reaction was 'SH*T'. She was definately abit drunk, the way she had been typing to my friend with alot of extra letters and numbers and typo's..

And she also 'pokes' me on Facebook, but I'm ignoring it. She hasn't seen me online for a week, so I think she wants to know when I get on. (she did tell me she likes seeing me on).

And another thing, I was secretly talking to one of her friends, and Becky's 50/50 with this guy, and apparently he's 'funny and just plain amazing' or some shiet according to the friend, that also had/has a crush on him. Yeah that makes me feel like sh*t, but if she sticks to her word, saying that shes not ready for a relationship, then I guess theres not much to worry about, even though I won't be getting back with her (again or for awhile). If they do get together, there will be noway of her to contact me except phone or address, and I wont be picking up her calls. Her same friend spoke to her, and apparently I pushed her away a little during those 2 weeks (the 'break period'), that I was obsessive or something. I know I was, but I wasn't TO her. I gave her her space, I was pretty much never the one to start talking 1st. But apparently she did like that I was still there for her or something..

I don't know if I said it, but another of my friends spoke to her, and asked if we would ever get back together. And she said: "mabey but not for a long time tho i just want to be good friends like you two are :/ but i guess i cant do that no more look after him for me please even tho i know you do alot and thanks your a really good friend to him i miss him alot already". That was the day after I notified her of the contacting thingy. Then she was asked how long, and she replied with: i really dont know months till year but i want him to move on i know i know it will be hard butt yeahh just tell him that we will never go out again or something i dont want him to wait if you get me". So I guess she's trying to demoralise me? I don't really get it. I have to move on, I know I won't 100%. I'm in the 'frustrated/angry' stage now I guess, and I still get abit down sometimes too :/

I think that's all so far.

Well, good for you for "holding your own" through all this. I think you're dealing with it well, in fact.

You're young, and believe me, there is never just ONE person in the world that you are designed to fall in love with. It can happen again. And, next time, perhaps, you'll both be available and ready to jump in with all your feet!

I hope you find time to do the things that make you happy. "Feed" yourself!

All the best,

Jerril

Jerril wrote:Well, good for you for "holding your own" through all this. I think you're dealing with it well, in fact.

You're young, and believe me, there is never just ONE person in the world that you are designed to fall in love with. It can happen again. And, next time, perhaps, you'll both be available and ready to jump in with all your feet!

I hope you find time to do the things that make you happy. "Feed" yourself!

All the best,

Jerril

This is hard though, I miss her so much, and I wish I could just start talking to her again, but t won't be the same, and I just can't yet.

I'm slowly going back to my old self, but she still remains in the back of my mind everyday.

I need you guys thoughts/opinion on something. This is really starting to p!ss me off and I don't know what to do.

She sends me a text, saying this feels like forever (no contact thing, and its been 14 days) and that she's going to have wrinkles by the time she speaks to me again, and that maybe I can shorten those 6 months (6 months was established when I told her roughly how long it takes for me to get over someone 100%). She says she hopes I'm going well with my driving, and then "i might not love you but i miss your company alot x". Ok, she doesn't love me anymore, but I talk to my friend, and turns out they are having a chat also. Apparently what my friend said, Becky says it applies to her also, and that is "I shouldn't miss you, but I do. I don't love you, but I loved what we had and I miss it. Alot. </3". And mind you guys, there wasn't much where we were just 'good/best of friends'. It was basicly getting to know eachother at the start, then we got abit closer as friends, THEN we got interested in eachother, or I did with her and that accelerated the friendship/relationship between us, and that carried on for a few months. Then the real relationship (what I'm trying to say is, its like being a rookie in a job for awhile, then instead of increasing rank, you go straight to the top ranks for awhile, then to manager. Skipping the ranks inbetween the rookie and the higher ups). So unless she only recalls just a tiny bit of time where we were 'good friends' out of the half a year of 'closeness' as I may call it, then she wouldn't feel ANYTHING. And then she started asking about me to the friend that was talking to her. WHY? I don't get any of this.

Maybe `missing` to me, means something else to what other people think of it as being. But this is what I think. If I had a Ferarri, and I crashed it, and later down the track never wanted it back, then obviously I don't miss it, right? But if I did want it back, I would have some sense of `missing` it, yeah?
Apparently you can still miss something even if you don't want it. - says my friend. But as you guys can see, I don't see it like that.

If she misses me so much, and that she makes a Facebook status about 13 days feeling like forever, and then saying FML, and asking about me, how can she say she doesn't love me anymore? This is really screwing with my head. I don't know what I should do. Should I ignore her text, or reply? If so, with what? Is it possible she really doesn't know how she feels? She shows me that she misses me, but I don't get why she really does. She said I was perfect, yet she breaks up with me? THEN starts all this missing my company, but doesn't love me stuff?

I thought maybe I would just get rid of her from everything without saying a word to her, just 'dissapearing' entirely from her life (also, I heard you want something more when you can't/don't have it?). My friends tell me one thing, but her actions say another. Sorry for my attitude, I'm fairly stirred up about all this x.o