Does this sound like he's sending an aggressive message?Help

I think so but I am wondering what other people think.
I've been "seeing" this guy for a few months now but we've never gone on a real date as in being invited out somewhere, only hanging out and going for walks near my house, and we've never actually kissed except on the cheek. The other day he gave me a birthday gift. First he said something like 'here's something special but only for you to use with me' and when I opened it, it was a box of condoms and after I opened it he said it was a gag gift. I gave it back and he gave me my "real" gift which was something really expensive that I had mentioned before that I liked... Is it just me or is he sending a strong message with that combination? It made me pretty uncomfortable, since it's not like we have been having a serious physical relationship... I am not sure if I should return the expensive gift because I feel like it comes with an expectation of something which I'm not comfortable with.

If you're uncomfortable, tell him you'd prefer he return it. Realize though that he will probably be insulted which may result in the demise of this 'relationship.' As for the condoms... who knows, maybe he's just a comical person.

Comical person? It's obvious what he wants, he thinks he's going to get it by giving you something expensive, and he's not at all shy about it either. He probably said the first present was "just a gag gift" when he saw the look on your face.

Do you really want to keep that expensive gift? Even if it's something you like, it will be a constant reminder of a time when somebody made you uncomfortable, (assuming it's non-perishable.)

Just tell him you are not comfortable keeping it, if that's how you feel. He might be insulted, as Black Dove remarked, but it's up to you to stick up for yourself like a woman (which I assume you are) and be honest about how you feel, and up to him to take it like a man. You have a right to feel insulted, too, by a "gag gift" like that.

That's just my thoughts, for what it's worth. It's not my area of expertise at all.

EDIT: Why were you hinting for an expensive gift in the first place?

justinl wrote:EDIT: Why were you hinting for an expensive gift in the first place?

I wasn't actually. It was something that a vendor was selling on a forum we both belong to and it combined two interests we shared so IIRC I asked if he'd seen it. He said he had but didn't care for the design, and I said I liked it but wished it wasn't so expensive. That was several months, so it wasn't like I was hinting that I wanted it and my birthday was coming up or something.

SecondSolution wrote:

justinl wrote:EDIT: Why were you hinting for an expensive gift in the first place?

I wasn't actually. It was something that a vendor was selling on a forum we both belong to and it combined two interests we shared so IIRC I asked if he'd seen it. He said he had but didn't care for the design, and I said I liked it but wished it wasn't so expensive. That was several months, so it wasn't like I was hinting that I wanted it and my birthday was coming up or something.

I see. It would have been thoughtful on his part, actually, if it weren't for the "gag gift." I just don't like that aspect of it. It reminds me of someone I know who accepted a "gag gift" not like yours, but in similarly poor taste, many years ago, and "abusive" scarcely begins to describe the guy who gave it.

justinl wrote:I see. It would have been thoughtful on his part, actually, if it weren't for the "gag gift." I just don't like that aspect of it.

Actually the more I think about it the more it bothers me... The only reasons for doing that I can think of to do that are he was sending a very strong and overbearing message (but in a way that he thought he could laugh it off) or he thinks it's funny to embarrass and make people uncomfortable. The combination of the "gag" gift and the expensive is what made me think it was the first reason but the second possibility is almost worst...
I suppose he could genuinely have thought it was funny, but even if HE did I can't see how he could possibly think I would think it was a good funny joke unless he has no clue of my personality, which is another problem.

SecondSolution wrote:... or he thinks it's funny to embarrass and make people uncomfortable.

That's where the control and manipulation can come in later in the relationship if you're not careful. Seen it happen.

It sounds a little aggressive. That's just my opinion.