Problems in the relationship

Hello people
I have a gf and we're going through a bad time. She's exhausted becuz of me and my behavior. I've some "mental problems". She's got some too[she's doing pretty well these days, i'm doing not that good but better than before meeting her]. Many times I got no power to do anything and she's frasturated becuz of that. She's very supportive, very supportive. She supports me when Im having bad times which occures several times a week. I support her too, but not as much as she does.
I always criticise her about every aspect of her life. It is not that controllable. I'm an extremist perfectionist which caused me many many problem.
She tells me I must stop playing games with her like canceling at the last momment, telling her I want to leave, not listening[sometimes] when she speaks on the phone, meeting her even though I don't really want.
Moreover, she tells me I can't argue with her. I'm the kind of person that keeps everything inside and few times a year/s explodes.
In addition, she says I don't speak about my feelings about the relationship and always have "nothing to say".

She's told me today she's not been happy for the last several weeks with me. I always hurt or insult her.
She says that if something does not change she can't deal with the relationship anymore.

I'm a hellish guy and she is so pleasant and she does not deserve this kind of behavior.

I know i'm a hard guy to be with.

It will be very difficult to me to manage without her[also to her, but much more to me since I'm "recovering" these days.]

I would like to hear what you have to say becuz I got nobody to talk about it unlike her.
Thanks.

Do'nt accept yourself as you currently are, sigh, and make strong amends to change the way you interact with your partner. Look, I was very much the same as you, but I changed the way I approached such issues. I always backed out of things, and the fact that I realise this made me instead just go head-first into things instead. If I mess up, what does it matter? - At least I tried my best. so, the next time you meet her, be clear in your own mind that you will not back out. Is there actually any reason for doing it though? Are you nervous? Devote some time to thinking about how the encounter will go, and maybe this will reduce your anxiety some what (if anxiety is what you have).

The next time you talk on the phone, have a few questions in your mind that you want to ask her. Even write them on a list for a few conversations until you 'train' your brain to beciome a better conversationalist.

Don't accept the way you are for one second. We must always yearn to improve ourselves in life.

Kevin

Thanks Kevin.
I've been depressed for several years[along other problems], but now I feel much better. I feel bad just 40-50% of the time, and when I feel depressed I say to her not deliberately bad things that hurt her.
She says she can't take it anymore. I must try very hard to behave well and not to hurt her.

Try to put yourself in her shoes...She is practically your doormat, loves and cares for you, if there is no one else there for you but her at the times you need someone, why not try and show her you appreciate her (as hard as it may be).
Don't take her for granted.
Its not too late for you to make some changes within yourself for her and the relationship's sake.
She won't leave if she sees you are at least trying or making as much effort as she is.

I agree with everyone. It's not always that we find someone who's willing to dedicate as much effort, patience and care that your GF is giving to you (considering your condition). When you feel that you're about to hurt her, always remind yourself that you can never take back the hurtful things being said. Say how much you appreciate her everytime you have the chance and try to be open with how you feel. Women are basically emotional and appreciate a man who's open with his feelings toward her, especially if it's about both of you. I know it's a great effort for you to do this, but you'll reap the fruit of your labor in the end. I wish you both all the happiness.