My girlfriend told me she loved me and I don't feel the same

by **Jerril** » Sat Feb 27, 2010 4:02 am

Y'know.... I've always treated my girlfriends like gold and, mostly, I haven't gotten that returned to me, either.

At least I know that I've left all my liaisons with a clean conscious. That's important, isn't it?

I think it's always the best policy to put all your cards on the table. Don't hurt anyone if you can help it, and one way to help it is by being up-front.

Jerril

I'll admit that I've said 'I love you' even though I didn't mean it. I was young and only said it to shut my girlfriend up. However, once I started lying about being in love with her, she then started constantly asking me to marry her. I began saying know (i.e. being honest), but then she'd never shut the hell up. So, I started saying 'yes' (that I'd marry her). We broke up years ago, but she's now married to some other chap.

What about you insincerity... ...what is your experience with lying about love?

by **insincerity** » Sat Feb 27, 2010 9:28 pm

I'm under the impression that admitting to being completely unable to feel love or higher emotions would be something of a turn off for most sane people, so I lie and pretend to love them. Though I usually don't say it as soon as they do, it seems less fake if you take your time about it.

by **Chucky** » Sat Feb 27, 2010 10:18 pm

This one post by you actually sheds like on every other previous one that you've made here. At this moment in time, I cannot admit to loving anyone either. I used to love, but now I've got so much hatred in me (including hatred for myself) that if I said 'I love you' to someone, I wouldn't actualy be telling the truth. I don't think I'll be replying here anymore.

Good luck dude. See you around.

Kevin

by **harmonica** » Thu Mar 11, 2010 6:59 am

Chucky wrote:
harmonica wrote:Should I continue dating her even though she's in love with me? We broke up cause she was trying to be controlling then after I broke up with her she told me that and want's to get back together. I want her back but only if she goes back to not being controlling. She said she wants to not be. But the thing is that even though I love spending time with her, and never been with a woman more attractive, I don't feel the same way. And I don't feel like I'm necessarily up for a serious relationship right now. I am up for an exclusive one, but I wanna take it easy and not serious. What should I do here? I love being with her, but I wanna be fair to her.

If I tell her this she may say she wants me back anyway, even though it may not be the best thing for her, but I'm not sure.

You should tell her exactly what you have written here - i.e. make it clear to her that you are not looking for anything too serious right now; and that you were enjoying the relationship the way that it was. When the 'love' wordis introduced too early in a relationship, I agree that it can scupper ann otherwise happy relationship. While saying this, maybe this is just who she is... ...and it's a sgn that the relationship won't work long term. Once you tell her what you want from a relationship, her reaction will give you an indication of the future together. If she can be happy going back to the way things were, then great; if she starts moaning, then it might be that things will not work out.

Well I told her exactly what I wrote and her reaction was this. She said she will try to go back to how things are and that we learn to accept it. So I guess that means she wants to continue but only cause she loves me and will still be disappointed that I don't feel the same way. But wants to keep me anyway. I tried ending it again but she keeps making me want her more and get more confused. Now I just don't know. But I told her we can try new things in our relationship and that might help.

I'd like to hear more opinions on this though

Kevin

by **Chucky** » Thu Mar 11, 2010 9:12 pm

Your post's main content hasn't appeared, harmonica, or were you just happy to quote my original post?

by **harmonica** » Mon Mar 15, 2010 6:08 am

Oh that's weird I posted it when I typed it, after your post. Oh well I don't remember what I wrote now.

by **TryingSoul** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 3:22 pm

Yeah I agree. I've been there and its best to not go back in to a one sided relationship. Its hard, especially for the other person but it would only be unfair and harder if you were to go back in. It'd just get worse.

The best thing you can do it just be there emotionally if she needs someone to talk to for support. It was something I never had in my first bad break up.

harmonica wrote:Should I continue dating her even though she's in love with me? We broke up cause she was trying to be controlling then after I broke up with her she told me that and want's to get back together. I want her back but only if she goes back to not being controlling. She said she wants to not be. But the thing is that even though I love spending time with her, and never been with a woman more attractive, I don't feel the same way. And I don't feel like I'm necessarily up for a serious relationship right now. I am up for an exclusive one, but I wanna take it easy and not serious. What should I do here? I love being with her, but I wanna be fair to her.

If I tell her this she may say she wants me back anyway, even though it may not be the best thing for her, but I'm not sure.

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