Emotional pressure by boyfriend

Hey guys whoever is gonna read my post. It is my first post, I hope it won't be my last.
I am with my boyfriend since fall 05, it was a strong love at the begining but then we had so many disagreements and we had to break up. To be honest with you, it was not my decision. Already, Im the emotional kind who, once found the big love, can never let it go. So basically, even with all the problems happening between us, I could not break up with him. However, him, being an extremly rational person, has taken the decision for both of us. So, after two years and half of relationship, we broke up for 15 months. After this period, he came back to me saying that he could not find a person who would make him feel like I feel and hoping that problems would happen less and less between us. We got back together, our love was untouched, always as strong. Neverthless, problems continue to happen. Already, since we made up, it is a long distance relationship because we are not in college anymore, so each of us is in their hometown.
This was to give you an overview about the situation. My problem now is: when we get into a fight, I cannot do anything else but thinking about how to please him and make him talk to me. He is an only child, so he has all those features: egoism, perfectionism ... so basically, he never admits that he's wrong and always blames me for everything. My part of the mistake was when I first fell in love with him and is on till now, I always accept that he puts the blame on me for anything. I just wanna have him back at the time, so i don't wanna argue or anything. I avoid that to get him back the soonest possible. I know the whole relationship does not seem healthy, but i just cannot let him go. He's like the biggest love of my life and whenever he's angry at me, it is as if my world is crashing. It feels bad, I can't talk to people, I cant do anything ntil he brings back my breath and talks to me.
Anyone of you can help please on how to proceed now to get my self out of this trap?
I would be so thankful

Heya,

Well, firstly you must realise that no-one on this Earth owes anybody anything. Thus, you do'nt owe this guy anything, even if he's trying his best to make you feel guilty about his mental problems. it is not your concern anymore. If you want to 'get away' from him, then start thinking along the lines of moving into a new chapter of your life, which includes a new 'you'. This could involve changing your email address, phone number(s), etc. You can leave all that is with you now in the past, and only take forward what YOU want. Many of us reach points in life where you are at now, but few know how to simply move on. They then carry all of these burdens with them until their dying day, but this doesn't have to be the case for you.

Make sense?

Kevin

Hey Kevin
Thanks for ur replying to my post. What you are saying really makes sense to me. I know I should smply move on as you said, but the thing is: I wanna do it as a step by step thing. I generally react badly to sudden changes. I feel lost.
I really liked the part where you said: "Nobody owes anybody anything", because that's how I feel. I feel that after getting on his nerves that much (that's what he gives me the impression of doing) I should make it up to him in all the ways. I do my best, my very best to please him as if, indeed, I owe him that. I see that he manipulates me and can't get myself out of this cycle.
I am already not a very decisional person, I hesitate a lot. Plus, I am so afraid of ending up alone and regretting not having been patient with him.
I guess this makes you less enthusiastic to reply to me again as I seem as a desperate case, but I really wanted to describe the situation fully.
Thanks
Kaoutar

Kaoutar, I am still eager to resply to you; and you're welcome - I'm glad that you appreciated my first reply. There's one more thing Ithat I think you should spend some time considering: If you and he by chance got back together, I am seriously doubtful that it would work. you might have him claiming that he needs you, loves you, etc; but I think the reality is that no sooner would you both be back together that he'd be acting like a jerk again. The best thing is to 'wipe the slate clean' and move on in your own life. Be confident in yourself and what you want to achieve, and dont' let people like him hold you back.

Kevin

Also, I think it's good to know that you can have a great, wonderful time in life w/out a boyfriend. That can happen if you can find peace and happiness within, first and foremost. Then, two people who are both "in love" with themselves, but not in an egotistical way, or "in love" with life can get together in healthy ways.

Is there too much pressure on us to always be there for another, to always be in a relationship, interacting and responding and giving and receiving? Some non-conventional arrangements might work better for some, such as just spending weekends at each other's homes and, for some, this is enough.