I am a mess

I have been in a almost 10 year relationship. We have lived together for 9 of those years but we are not married. Early on I was the successful one and she was struggling and I can look back now and say that I was not always nice about it. That breaks my heart. After a series of lay-offs I have found myself out of work since Feb of 2008. We had to move in with her Mom for a while resulting in a lengthy commute for her. We moved back out of her Moms earlier this year with new hope and promise. None of it has been fulfilled.

She is at her wits end with me. We still really love and care for each other but my behavior is taking it's toll. I do not know what to do at the moment and I am feeling really helpless to try and stop what I see happening. We have been through so much together and I do not want this to be the undoing of what we worked so hard to maintain.

Sorry for this to be my first post on this forum but I cannot hide what I am feeling. I expected so much more out of life and at the moment I do not see it happening.

Hi Sean,

You and her need to sit down together to suggest a plan for the future. Right now, it just sounds like you are going through each day not knowing what will happen next. This shouldn't be - You need to know what you are aiming towards with regard to the relationship.

Kevin

That's an awfully long time to be out of work. That would take a toll on any relationship.

I think it's about time that you sit down and have a talk with her. Talk about what she wants out of your relationship, ask her how she feels about what's going on, and what the both of you can do about it. On your part, at least try not to be a burden to her.