A friend's attendance to a major birthday celebration.

Hello everyone!

It's my 21st birthday soon, and I have invited a friend from university to my party. There is one friend in particular I want to come, but he says he does not have enough money to travel here - lives quite far away -, so he may not come. I have offered to lend him the money indefinitely, because it would mean a lot to me for him to be there.

I see this as a test of our friendship. Given that there is no immediate economic cost for him, there is no reason as to why he cannot attend. I would do exactly the same thing.

If he does not accept this offer, I am tempted to disband him as a friend, considering that he would have failed the test, and disappointed me on one of the most important days of my life.

Do you think this is the right, and fair, thing to do?

How exactly did you phrase the offer of lending money to him? If it was in any way forceful, then i believe that this is actually unfair of you to do. He might very well not want to go at all and used the lack of money as an excuse. I mean, if he really wanted to go, then he'd find the money himself. You also mentioned that you would "do exactly the same thing" (i.e. - go to your party), but this is a bad way of thinking because everyone is different. Many people are reserved and like to keep to themselves. There could be a wide variety of reasons why he doesn't want to go.

But - anyway - you made your post back in August - What has happened since then?

i hate borrowing money from people. especially large amounts. this would stop me from going even if I wanted to.
Especially seeing as its your birthday, I would want to give you some expensive present and not take your money.