Forcing oneself to be positive?

Basically, I have a friend who has now, according to her friends and family, graduated from basic training for the air force. So, any day now, I'm going to hear from her from the first time in months. (I was unable to get the information I needed to contact whilst she was in training.) This fills me with, well, apprehension. It's an issue that I will not get into at the moment, but I have a rather considerable antipathy for the military, and I am still less than delighted for how she elected to enlist. Frankly, I don't want to hear about how great training was, how nice everyone is, how many new low-class friends she's made, how thrilled she is to serve, how it was worth the effort, how glad she is to have joined, and any other number of related topics. That's to say nothing of how I know for a fact that her personality will have changed into some other person that I don't even know as a result of her subservience inurement.

However, I can't just say that to her after months of us not hearing from one another. I might as well say, "Hello, it's been a long time, but I don't approve of your life decisions. Go to hell." To be succinct, I am looking for some method where I can make myself, at least externally, have a positive outlook on this so I can be sociable. My proven defence mechanism seems rather lacklustre in these situations. I have a habit of intellectualising in social situations when I feel uncomfortable. In retrospect, I was very terse, cold, and aloof the last time we spoke before she left. Needless to say, that isn't going to work. I'm not looking for gimmicks here; I just want something that I can concentrate my efforts on so that I don't end up being some pompous ass the next time we meet as a result of what are entirely irrelevant "personal feelings".

Oh, and, as a side note, for any of the american "patriot" crowd who may be reading, spare me the "you're a pathetic ingrate for not approving of the military" speech. I really don't want to hear about it.

You haven't seen or heard from your friend in months, but you're already convinced that she has undergone an extreme transformation. Perhaps she has changed. But how about holding back those assumptions until your reunion.

We all have friends and family that hold opposing views from our own. I differ greatly with many on the topics of religion and politics, but I am able to put these aside for the sake of peace and the relationship.

Is it really that difficult to be polite and respect your friend's decision? Despite your antipathy toward the military, do you think you can still appreciate that your friend is happy? This is about her, after all. Does she really need to live her life based on your values?

I guess you have to decide whether you want to pay the price of admission. This is your friend's life now. It's not a topic that she can avoid like religion or politics. You either have to accept it and be cool, or allow each other to move on.

You didn't mention how close you were. It might be the natural progression of the friendship that you two will go your separate ways. Either way, you can be honest about your feelings without being rude. "I don't agree with the road you have taken, but I'm glad if you're happy."

Well, I haven't spoken with her, or heard from her in any way at this point. Perhaps that makes coping with separation so much easier, eh? I suppose she's always rather busy when she doesn't require me for something... Oh well, chances are that I probably won't ever meet her again at this point. My friends always leave anyway. C'est la vie. Blow your nose, be a man, shut up and stop whining and all of that.