Didn't think it'd hurt so much

I finally broke up with my girlfriend whom with I had a long distance relationship going on for 4 years.

It sucks to somehow know we can talk on the phone all day and generally be fine. But the moment we're in person, there's too much drama. To the point where wondering if it could last several years (Till death) was a big question mark. I felt I was being untrue with my unintentions in staying with her.

I'm not sure how much of it was her fault or how much was because of my aspie like symptoms. But it hurts, especially knowing you have no friends, no family and no one to lean on in the end. It almost makes you want to rethink the standard of relationships.

I've leaned on her through so much, abuse, dropping out of highschool and getting home schooled because of my severe social anxiety. The worst part feels like I have no where to turn now.

Hi, Greatsharkbite! Maybe the two of you will still be friends, if it stops hurting after a while. You could find someone else, your life is not over.
You have this forum for when you need support and someone to listen, you're not alone. I know what it's like to feel all alone, but it won't last for ever. I guess it's better this way if it wasn't meant to be.

Thank you for the reply. Yeah.. its definitely depressing me because for the entire duration of our relationship we talked just about everyday.

Also for some reason I keep worrying about her and I keep having the urge to call. It feels more real knowing that i'd spend the holidays and even my birthday (the latter being in 3 days) without her.

I want to try and call and remain friends.. but it feels selfish and hypocritical. Also who wants to be friends with someone who apparently didn't think you were worth taking a chance on.

Happy Holidays, Indeed

It's going to get easier. There's nothing wrong with being a little bit selfish, if you think that you need her friendship.