Being single is making me depressed (20 year old male)

I'm a 20 year old male student at a university, and I have become quite depressed lately because I am single. I have never had an actual girlfriend, and am still a virgin. These facts have been weighing heavily on my mind lately, causing me to feel like a worthless loser.

Now, I have been doing a lot of self-reflection and have been looking at myself "in the mirror," so to speak, to try to make sense of my situation. I have decided that there are a few personal aspects that I possess that are counting against me. One aspect is my body type. I'm 5'5" and around 115 pounds. I know girls must look at me and think I'm weak and tiny, which would piss me off because I actually am strong for my size and know some martial arts. Another aspect is my shyness and quietness. I know that girls like confidence and such, so I know that this is something that I have to work on.

And I know that I am a very loving and caring person, and I'm decent looking, so I think I should have an alright chance of getting a girlfriend, but I haven't yet. And this is what is really bothering me.

Does anyone have any positive words or advice? I'd appreciate it, especially if it's from female members.

I wouldn't worry too much about being a virgin at that age. You would be surprised how many guys are still virgins. Lots of guys tell stories of how much ass they pull, but lots of times it's just stories.

It just isn't your time. Simple as that. It doesn't mean anything is necessarily wrong with you. I was past 20 when I lost mine.

Sooner or later you'll meet the right girl and it'll just fall into place. Don't fret too much over your physical size. You'd be surprised how many girls don't care about hulking muscles.

Speaking of muscles, perhaps starting to work out and getting a little bigger would be good for you. No need to look like the Hulk. Just get to a point you're comfortable with.

Hi, I am a female member.

You must demonstrate genuine decisiveness and strength, when it comes to girls, especially girls your age, which are your target, I suppose.

You must be firm about what you want, and also like yourself and what you do.. I know you don't possess the kind of maturity needed to implement this, at your age. However, you can still focus on the things that interest you and get your mind engaged, and combine that with a relaxed attitude toward girls.. try not to be obsessed with having a girl, and she will come then.. - providing you have a solid social life.

I'm a guy and I didn't have my first real relationship or lose my virginite until I was 22. Not a big deal,don't worry about peer pressure. If they start to pressure you then tell them to help find you someone instead of just sitting there

My advice, don't be in a rush. Keep yourself involved in activities that interest you and that way you are able to generally meet people with similar interests.

20 is not the age to be upset for being a virgin, believe me there are MANY who wish they waited that long, whether its from a lack of trying, or because of circumstance.

You've had an opportunity to go to college, trust me its a lot more important than having sex at that age. Generally people don't have the wisdom to navigate relationships at that age anyway. I think the advice given here to you is spot on.

I'm a 26 yr old female, and lost my virginity when I was 18 to a man I thought I loved. I eventually moved states away to be with him in college, and ended up single years later when I realized he was cheating on me with a much younger woman.

I can personally say that I have been really close to a man in my life, without ever taking part in sexual acts. To be honest, when you put other priorities first, you can really see a person's true colors. Sex can really camoflauge a person. I was able to find a man who loved me, even when I never took my clothes off, once. We didn't end up being together, due to situational reasons, but it only goes to show that there are people out there who cherish your soul, and not sex.

And just because you haven't had a girlfriend yet, doesn't mean that you should have one. Don't let society tell you where you need to be in life. Taking the leap before you're ready, can cause confusion and complications. Listen to "you", because you know when the time is right. Sometimes patience can really be a virtue.

I know it may be depressing for you to be alone when you're not -teen anymore. I so know that feeling! And all the pressure around, all the kids dating nowadays don't make it any better. But don't let yourself to be stressed about this. I know it may not seem encouraging to you now but, you know, maybe you're just not the type of person who can date anyone. You have some expectations, right? And you're still so young!!! Don't rush anywhere, what sense does that have? You'll find your girlfriend eventually. I don't say you should be totally passive. Try to go out more, make some hobbies, chat online.. maybe you're not the kind of guy who hits on a girl in a supermarket, but you can find other ways for someone to get to know you better and like you for who you are

Robert23 wrote:I have decided that there are a few personal aspects that I possess that are counting against me. One aspect is my body type. I'm 5'5" and around 115 pounds. I know girls must look at me and think I'm weak and tiny, which would piss me off because I actually am strong for my size and know some martial arts. Another aspect is my shyness and quietness. I know that girls like confidence and such, so I know that this is something that I have to work on.

Perhaps you would gain some admirers if you get a bit more aggressive in life. As you're a strong, handy lad for your size, that will help you with confidence issues. If you look weaker than the average male, there will be no shortage of bigger guys who may try to take advantage of this, but if you can prove them wrong, show that you're not scared of them and can hold your own, girls will soon start to notice and take a fancy to you.

Robert23 wrote:And I know that I am a very loving and caring person

Females don't care about loving and caring and all that $#%^, they're after a strong, dominant alpha male, i.e. a REAL MAN. Become a bit more assertive, and ruthless on the exterior, and when the guys start to respect you for your toughness, the girls will follow suit and you'll have no shortage of them chasing you. Its the same throughout all species.

Pariah wrote:Females don't care about loving and caring and all that $#%^, they're after a strong, dominant alpha male, i.e. a REAL MAN. Become a bit more assertive, and ruthless on the exterior, and when the guys start to respect you for your toughness, the girls will follow suit and you'll have no shortage of them chasing you. Its the same throughout all species.

Truth spoken.