driving me crazy

I have recently divorced after 11 years of marriage. We were growing apart and it wasn't a complete surprise. But I am really confused about certain aspects of the divorce. Here is the scenerio and I would love for other's takes on this.

My husband came and asked for a divorce. We did talk about it for a couple of years so I wasn't really shocked that it had come to fruition. I was really concerned about how my daughter would react to it. She was only 6 years old at the time. Since there was no major issues with our marriage ie. an affair, drug abuse, gamling, drug abuse etc. I thought that maybe we could keep the marriage together for our daughter's sake and for financial reasons. I even gave my husband permission to discreetly date since we weren't in love anymore. I thought we could just be friends and keep things as normal as possible for my daughter's sake. We could also both benefit financially by retaining the home and sharing all the expenses. My ex wanted no part of it. I thought there might be a lover but after a couple of years, there is no sign of one. It really boggles my mind how a man would still want to put himself in financial peril if there is no lover and we agreed to be just friends and try to just have a platonic relationship so our daughter could have a relative normal life.

He was downright mean to me. He tried to steal money from me before the divorce and tried to fight me for full custody of our daughter to try to hurt me. I just don't understand it. I have some ideas but I am trying to get others opinions to try to help me understand this. My experience in life is that most men would jump at the chance to be able to have their freedom and still be able to keep the family in tact. It also alleviates financial burdens. We are both college educated and have decent jobs. We are and were not rich but comfortable enough. As I said in the beginning, there was no cheating by me or by him as far as I know and there was no drug or alcoholism. I just don't get it.

This is driving me nuts.

Hey,

It sounds like he was trying to get through the divorce as nicely as possible at first but, when it came down to it, he saw fit that he could be mean to you. There doesn't have to be any outside lovers involved for two people to grow apart though. It could be that he just became tired of family life and wanted to be 'free' of it. Whatever his true reasons, I implore you not to try and figure them out. The only way you can figure them out is by asking him, but do you think that he will ever give you an answer that you will be satisfied with? No, whatever he tells you will not make you any more content or happy.

Therefore, I believe, it would be best to just let him go in your mind, and never bother with him again as much as possible.

Kevin