Dropped out of my life

I had a very good long-term relationship going for me until the last few months. I am searching for answers on what has happened and I'm hoping that maybe someone on this forum can relate and give me advice:

I was with this person from March of 2006 until recently. December is the last time I really felt like he was himself. He was a senior in college and had always been very much determined that I would be there to see him graduate last month. In February, I asked about some details for graduation to know what I should plan and was given a "It doesn't matter if you're there or not" response. Given his previous enthusiasm about my attendance, this took me by surprise and hurt my feelings very much. I responded angrily, and we had a fight. Later that night he cried and confessed to me that he was not happy with his life, me, school, his career, anything. He acknowledged that his life is good and that he should be happy but he couldn't be. This sounded like text book definition of depression, and I urged him to seek help.

March came and as his school wound down the pressure increased and his free time for me decreased. I last spent a night with him at the end of March and things seemed fine. April came and I only saw him long enough for dinner a few times and tension was high. He was snippy with me and I was angry with him, as he had begun to not respond to my phone calls or text messages. Graduation day came and went, and he never gave me the proper info to be there - so I wasn't there. I thought that he was under pressure and school and once he was finished we would be fine. After he graduated, he went to spend a few weeks with his family out of state.

During this time, he would hardly speak to me. He would call occasionally and seem normal, but he wouldn't say much. He would not respond to my texts or emails and this drove me crazy. He told me he would be back in state on June 15th. He and I had plans for the summer. The other day, I got this feeling that he was not being truthful so I called his work and he answered, two weeks before he was supposed to be there. I finally got him to talk to me and he said he didn't want to be with me, didn't want to talk to me, was seeing someone that was out of state (but in the same sentence said "I just want time alone"), claimed this new sense of freedom was what he liked.

I am devastated. My friends have all told me that the transition from student to work-force adult causes some people to run wild like dogs that were chained up for too long and that he will come around. Most believe the story about seeing someone else from out of state is a lie, and I'm inclined to believe that as well. I would think he is just a jerk and I would be moving on, but I can't help but think that this has something to do with depression and the stuff he confessed to me a few months ago. I still love him and I want him to contact me, I think he will eventually. Things that used to matter to him do not matter to him anymore. The last couple of times he was around my family, who adored him, they all confessed to me that something seemed very strange and different. He used to be the sweetest, most kind-hearted person you could meet and now he is so cold and uncaring.

What could this be? Is there anything I could do, or do I just have to wait?

Hey, Mlowery85! Welcome to the forum. You are sweet to worry about him so much. Maybe you can tell him that you are there for him if he needs someone to talk to, but don't be around him if it hurts you.
It sounds like he is depressed. Give him some space and see if he reaches out to you and if not, ask him what he wants to do about your relationship. This must be difficult for you. Don't put yourself through any more pain. You can talk here any time you like.

I agree. Give him some time to adjust. DOn't bother to call him. It will just irritate him. I think we will come back eventually. You just need to wait. Many man, when they realize that loosing woman and the reason of that is woman, will eventually come back. But you need to leave your life as it is normal. The fact that he knows that you are waiting for him will not help. On the contrary, let him somehow know (through common friends) that you have moved on.