Disfunctional

i been sorting this out in my head and i need it out some where it won't continue to head ###$ me

Where to start


i met a girl who i was totally into, we did the whole chase me date me wow me dance. (like april june time last year)

i must admit i been diagnosed as borederline Bi-polar. something to do with watching my g/f die next to me in a car crash and other loverly things.

Back on topic - instead of getting the girl at the start - she had a b/f kinda so we was just friends. Good friends did alot together, you know i really got to know her. Did the usual hanging out, and then a chance remark she writes and so do i, but when i had a break down i torched all my stuff.

So we swap short stories poems notes etc i begin to realise im falling for her. then her age comes about she is slightly younger then i thought. 6 years difference between us.

So she is single i make a move we get it on. lasts 2-3 months and i dunno we drift apart and she is soon seeing other guys. hearing about it wrecks me. But we stay as friends so some times i hear it from her sometimes from others.

24th december she knocks on my door we talk she confesses she loves me, but its complicated she loves 2 other men.

Things progress we spend new years eve together.

Now im her friend she has told me she loves me but she loves 2 other men as well. shes not going out with any one hasn't since new years. she has flirted with me some kinky phone msgs but no sex. I gave her some short stories she asked me to write, having wrote nothing since my mom died of cancer. and she never reads them stright away, as if forcing the point that im not important to her.

I offered to walk out of her life she said no to me she doesn't want that at all.


I just want some one who is distanced from this to tell me what they think, please.

Probably not what you want to hear, but I think you should distance yourself from this girl. I surely know how hard that is, if you feel you have found any sort of 'connection', even if it is simply that she appears to be 'into you', when you have felt a scarcity in that area.

The reason I say this is because she claims to be in love with two other guys, and toys with online sex. She might be a nice girl, but right now she doesn't know what she wants.

And the fact that she confides in you (and you have not yet run like hell), allows her to believe you accept that.

Do you really accept that? Are you comfortable with that...or do you feel you deserve someone who can, at the very least, devote some time to trying to ascertain whether or not you two are a match?

I hope you feel you deserve that. As screwed up as you might feel, being in a relationship with someone like her, right now, might screw you up further.

If you can stand your ground, and think about what realy is acceptable to you, in the long (and short) run, you will feel better about yourself. I think you will feel like you are taking care of yourself, your heart and head....and hopefully, that you are worth it.

[I'm not saying she isn't a good person, just that she is too mixed up right now to do you any good. You really do deserve better, and maybe someday she will be that person, but right now, she's not. And maybe she can't be there for anyone...so don't take it personally. But she won't ever respect you if you put up with her being as indecisive as she is. I don't mean you have to be cruel or unkind....just firm. Let her go and decide what she wants, but don't let her feel you accept things right now that you won't be willing to accept on an ongoing basis.

That teaches her as much as it does you. It will help her realize that life sometimes requires choices. And sometimes the choices are worthwhile....namely...YOU]

thanks for the reply

Now i got to work out how to do it

part of me wants to do it face to face

as a story ...


i dunno


well thanks thow

apparently she just wants me as a friend we had sex as her way of saying thank you for being her friend

and she never sees me as not being in her life

but she just wants me as a friend....

Hi, beliennruy! It seems to me like this girl is hurting you and you don't need that. She should have been clear about what she wanted from you and it's cruel of her to make you think that you don't matter. Maybe you should try to stay away from her, at least for a while.