Reality of Dreams?

I've always had very very vivid dreams. Last night I dreamt that my ex boyfriend Chris and I were still together. He wasn't who he really is irl. He was this wonderful guy who I always really hoped he could be irl. When I woke up and realized it wasn't real I started crying. Why does it effect me so badly?

I had to talk myself down and keep saying, that isn't who he really is. There is a part of him that was that person occasionally and I suppose that is what kept me with him, but the truth is that he cannot control his anger. Is it possible to still be with someone who is like that as long as they make the decision to see a therapist? I just really still have so many deep and strong feelings that when I have those dreams it's like I'm just torturing myself.

and then I find myself thinking:
"I wonder if he will ever really be that person, and if he does become that person, can I have him back?"

It was one of those dreams that slaps you in the face in a bad way, reminding you of what you cannot have.

I just wish I could really get over him. I just wish he would become that person so I can be with him again. It's sad to say but if he called me right now and said he'd moved here and had a place and wanted me back, I'd be there in a heartbeat. I just still love him so much it hurts everyday.

(((((((e.))))))) I think I understand how you feel, a little bit. Maybe you should stop thinking about what a bad or good person he could be, and concentrate on the fact that it wouldn't work between the two of you. The fact that he was so abusive is something you can't really put aside.

I know. His abuse towards me was strange, and although he doesn't like that he is that way, he still can be abusive and dangerous. So I know our relationship would be the same if not worse. You'd think that would conk me out of this bullcrap emotion trip.

I spent all day thinking about all of this. Yes it is EXTREMELY hard for me to think about him or feel things for him. I finally said to myself that if I am so messed up over him why don't I call him. So I did. It was hard to hear his voice, and I had to keep from crying and even had to call my mom so I could let it out.

But, he told me something that makes me think of this in a different way.

He said that he thinks he has Aspergers syndrome. When he said that I remembered thinking that it was possible and that it makes sense. Then I realized that all this time, these really strong bonded feelings that I have for him remind me of the bond between a mother and her child. Even when I was with him, I had to mother him, or I felt like I had to. I don't really know what a mother feels because I have never had a child of my own.

I've been really confused about it all though. It's either that or it's the feeling that a person has when the love of their life has died, and they are in constant grief. Then I get worried that I will die of grief. I just need to move on, I want to move on. I want it so bad because it affects my life so much.

I need to get into therapy about this too.

But ok on a good note I will just add that I got a job at a very very ritzy resort called The Four Seasons Resort. It's amazing! I will be working with the guests children in the Kids Club. I am so happy about this, and it pays well and everyone who works there seem to honestly be HAPPY with their jobs. I can't wait to start working.
The only issue I have is that these guests children are going to be, well kind of..I don't know what the right word would be, but they are children reared in wealthy families and may be a little uppity. I don't know how to deal with people who are like that. It might just sound worse than what it will be.

Good luck with that new job! I have one too, at a supermarket. I haven't started yet. We'll both do fine
Maybe you feel the need to mother your "inner child" and you're projecting these feelings on to him. I think that's happened to me too. And you just can't break this bond becouse you don't want your "kid" to feel lonely again.

I had another dream about him last night.

We found eachother in the town where he lives, after this festival of some sort. It was at night. I asked him what it was that he loved about me and he said the way my eyes sparkle when I look into his. That is the one thing that I love about him and always have was the way he looked at me.
We got back together. I knew he still smoked pot and he couldn't keep a job, but I just still loved him so much.

I woke up alone, Shad was late getting back from the gym because he was talking to some woman who he hadn't seen in a while.

I just love Chris so much still. I wish I could stop having these dreams. Either I wish I could move on, or by some miracle he moves here and we can be together again. Why would I want that?? I'm just so rediculous. I guess I just don't have any closure.

You narrated your dream.. Dream is quite natural.. An Indian Writer named Sujatha write about this dreams very well.. If time permits try to read his works on dreams.. Moreover there is science behind this dreams..

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Thank you laplace.

I'll definetly check that out. I know there is a science to it. I'm just so desperate to get over this guy. It's like I KNOW how insanely rediculous it is, but my feelings are hung up. It sucks.