What's wrong with me?

I'm so down. My boyfriend and I had a fight but we made up. I just feel really down because I almost walked away and I love this person with all my heart. We've been together for a few years and I'm ready and willing to make this year the best year yet. Last year ended in a sour note because my cousin was murdered (we three were very close) and my boyfriend keeps getting screwed by financial aide and he defines himself by succeeding and getting an education. It's been so hard and all I want is to curl up in his arms and feel safe. The thing is, I have this terrible fear of being cheated on and if we don't talk or I don't see him I get depressed and fear that he's with someone else. It's hard to break away from thinking that and I cry because I want to not feel that way. From thirteen to seventeen the "love" I would see between two people was distorted. My Mom would get drunk and verbally and physically attack my Dad and he was cheating on her and taking her money and he left us. She took him back a year later and the same thing happened. Now they are together again and all the bad things seemed to have never happened. I cry because I'm afraid he's cheating on me but he gives me no reason to believe he is. I just feel like a mess. I just want to be happy and in love with this man.

Hi, irshacacia! Welcome to the forum. Maybe you're scared he'll cheat on you becouse your dad cheated on your mom and you don't want a relationship like that of your parents. You don't want to be abandoned again by someone who cheats. You could try to tell your boyfriend that and make him understand.
It's not your fault you were hurt and I'm glad you two are back together. He won't hurt you just becouse your parents did.