I need to stop looking at porn

First off, this is my first time actually posting (let alone starting a thread) in ANY forum, so...

Hi...

I'm a 17 year old boy, have a girlfriend (and yes, she knows about this problem) and have been trying to stop almost ever since I started (only a few, about 4, months ago).

I have downloaded a program that sends a list of any 'questionalable' sites I go to right to her email, but I just slipped up again tonight...

I don't know what else to say... so if anyone could help me out?

Are you two having sexual relations? If yes, do you sex her without a problem? Or No sexual relations, and wish to rock her world? 17 and horny, the good old days. Crap, I am 40 and horny all the time, life is good.

delete the program. Step 1.

Dan: No, we both believe in not doing that until marriage (though I admit, we do 'play around' sometimes, but nothing that goes too far.)

I believe it was because we haven't really been able to get together, outside of school and church, for over a month now. I've been waiting, but I my 'want' just got too strong. I'm trying to kick the urge to look at that stuff at all, though. That's what I'm asking for help with.

L1ft24: Forgive me if I don't understand, but the program is supposed to help me stop. It tells me gf when I go on one of 'those' sites. The Internet is really my only way to access porn, so if I know she will find out, it makes it less likely that I'll view that.

I want to stop looking, not look without her knowing.

I'm certainly no expert on any of this, but I would have to think that the first step here is will power and trust in yourself.

I know that's hard to come by with an addiction of any kind. But if you truly believe that you WANT to stop, and it seems you do, then I believe you can.

I think it's good that she knows about this, and at least you guys have an honest relationship. I think you should be happy that you're not doing this behind her back, and as long as she knows and continues to stay with you, it shows she's supporting you.

Unfortunately, I have no real suggestions... All I can say is that if you really want to stop, you can. I know how pathetic, cheesy, and cliché that sounds, because whenever anyone gives me that crap about stopping any of my addictions, it angers me immensely.

However, it's true. I think you should first will yourself to try and look at less. That could help.

Also, do you and your girlfriend talk about this in detail? I ask because I know that when people are in relationships, they talk about things, but they also kind of brush it away. In this case, I think it's best for you to talk it out with her completely if you haven't already done so. It clears the air, and it shows that you can trust her.

Once you trust her enough to understand, I think you'll be able to trust yourself enough to stop.

I hope all goes well with you, and I wish you the best of luck.

Air Captain: Thanks for the words of encouragement. I do talk to her about it, but maybe not in as much detail as I should...

I think I might have found a pattern to when I get the 'urge' (and I admit, it seems stupid to me, but then again, I'm kinda emo. Not to the death mettle, cutting, goth looking extent, but I get overly emotional sometimes.)

Anyway, she tends to ignore me sometimes. Example: at lunch, at school, she hardly talks to me until our other friends leave, then she sees I'm just staring at the wall and starts with the I'm sorryness. Then the next day, it's the same thing. (I use 'ignore' for lack of a better term. She still sneaks a kiss, when the teachers aren't looking, and stuff like that. She just dosn't really talk to me)

Also, she climes to be Christen, (I'm really on the fence, between Christen and Atheist) but shows less Christen influence in her actions then me. Example: I listen to 'underground Christen Hip-Hop' and pop rock, she listens to Rap (the kind that's all about one night stands, trying to fu*k a girl for the sake of fu*king her, etc.) That kind of stuff pisses me off. Really, I can't stand hearing about other people's 'conquests' at school, and I get enough of that, so why would I want to hear her singing about it?

It's when stuff like this, and others, builds up, and I can't take it anymore (and yes, I'm pretty open with her about how I feel, though I just made the connection so I have yet to share that with her) that I get the super urge to look up some porn sites.

So... If anyone has any advice about that... thanks in advance.

Hi, nightshade. I hope telling your grilfriend that she sort of creates that urge to find porn helps. It's not right of her to ignore you like that, I would be upset too. Maybe you can just let her know how you feel right when she has done something wrong and try to talk it out, so that you'll get rid of the stress that way.

jasmin: Thank you for your response. I'm kind of soft spoken/shy, and haven't really talked to her yet. I'll try later today.

I think I feel alot better with this whole situation now. Just getting it out, talking to people outside of the relationship, has really made me feel better. I think (hope?) I can resist the urge now. Thanks to everyone who tried to help, and to anyone else who has some advice, it would still be appreatied.

EDIT: And don't take the ignoring me thing the wrong way... I know she dosn't mean to do it, it's really the only time she gets to talk to our other friends. It dose'nt bother me that much, anyway. I'm kinda' a loner, so I'm used to that sort of thing.

I know alot of people say this about their first serious relationship, but I really think she's the one for me. I can see myself with her 10, 20,50 years from now... (I know that's slightly random, I just felt like saying it. )

It's nice that you can see yourself with her many years from now. I think that's how a relationship should be.
I hate feeling ignored too, maybe becouse that is how I felt when I was growing up. I guess it could have something to do with your past.
Sometimes you just have to tell people how you feel. Tell yourself that you are strong and that talking to her about this will make you even stronger. You can always talk to us, nightshade.

Hi nightshade, I agree with you that you should not have premarital sex with your girlfriend. It's normal for boys to watch porn, but remember that there is always temptation. You should stop watching porn and have a wonderful relationship with your girlfriend.