Some advice.

As you might aspect by the fact I'm posting on this board, I have suffered/suffer from psychological problems and thus find myself starting to date - for want of a better term - for the first time in my late twenties.

I just meet someone who I really like. I think I might ask her to have lunch with me - she works evenings. I only thing really worried about is kissing. Is a kiss on cheek hello and goodbye OK? I just don't know what is appropriate. Maybe if things go really way, I should kiss her on the lips?

Personally I don't like to give any more than a hug on a first date. Why push things when it's not necessary? If she wants to kiss, then so be it, but otherwise take things nice and easy and go at your own pace. Don't worry about what's expected of you or what you're "supposed" to do. Just do what feels right.

without a kiss i generaly infer a lack of poignant interest, just make friends

Take things slow. Taking things too fast can end up in a divorce if you even get to marriage or a quicker break up and a harder break up. My aunt and uncle knew each other for 10 years before deciding to marry. I don't think you need to take 10 years, but a good 2-3 years would be nice. If you or she are not willing to wait that long, what about marriage? What is 2-3 years compared to the rest of your lives? I know you weren't talking about marriage, but every step gets you there, and skipping steps can be bad. So, I suggest, do what feels right. And make sure she's willing to kiss or maybe just hug too. Hope this helped. Peace.