Our partner

Having doubts about the relationship which make me restless.

Open Discussions about Relationship Issues.

Moderators: mark1958, xdude

Having doubts about the relationship which make me restless.

Postby Jemma » Sun Oct 14, 2018 7:52 pm

Our relationship is of three and a half years and fir most of that time i just buried things that irritated me or upset me and even when i did tell him and showed him that i was angry i just swallowed all my emotions and went back to normal within a few minutes because even when i was mad at him i didn't want to annoy him with my tantrums. Now after all these years I'm feeling very overwhelmed lately. And i think that all my subdued feelings are creating resentment towards the man i love. And that is making me have doubts about my relationship and having doubts make me really anxious.

I tried opening up twice or thrice and i was not convinced with his reaction towards my feelings. Once he told me if you can't deal with this we can't be together because that's how I am and changed the topic ( he suddenly stops talking to me for days and keeps taking breaks and then comes back whenever he wants and expects me to be completely normal as if he never stopped talking to me again and i understand he needs his space but i feel really abandoned )

So now I've started to tell myself everyday to stop expecting and start accepting.

We really love each other and I really see a future. But all these things are really making me restless . I cry for no reason at all randomly . I don't know how to let go of my feelings.
Jemma
Consumer 2
Consumer 2
 
Posts: 53
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 4:39 pm
Local time: Thu Jan 17, 2019 6:54 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Having doubts about the relationship which make me restless.

Postby Dahliaa » Wed Oct 17, 2018 7:56 am

Jemma wrote:So now I've started to tell myself everyday to stop expecting and start accepting.


Hello, I think it can not work only one-sided. I am afraid you are going to feel overwhelmed all the time. I can not understand why does he refuse to do something to help the situation. It is so that he is equally responsible as an adult person.

Dahlia
User avatar
Dahliaa
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 591
Joined: Tue Jan 02, 2018 2:21 pm
Local time: Thu Jan 17, 2019 2:24 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Having doubts about the relationship which make me restless.

Postby realityhere » Sun Oct 21, 2018 1:01 am

Jemma,

"Once he told me if you can't deal with this we can't be together because that's how I am and changed the topic"

This is invalidation of your feelings, period. This is a man who only wants what he wants, never mind what you would like or want in the relationship. And that's childish and immature for a grown man. OTH you accept and swallow that invalidation.

In some intimate relationships that don't acknowledge the emotional component, there often occurs some kind of dynamics that play into it. Some ppl seek partners who resemble the parent(s) who didn't give the validation they needed as children, and it happens they repeat the pattern over and over as adults. Have you considered individual counseling for yourself? Therapy can help you understand your family dynamics, your own triggers, and why you attract certain types of ppl into your life, therefore knowing how to avoid such ppl in your future.
AWAY from mod duties, please contact another moderator.
realityhere
Moderator: Consumer
Moderator: Consumer
 
Posts: 2213
Joined: Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:31 pm
Local time: Wed Jan 16, 2019 6:24 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Having doubts about the relationship which make me restless.

Postby Jemma » Mon Oct 22, 2018 3:50 pm

Doesn't matter anymore. He broke up with me . Because I bring bad luck to his life and he's been able to achieve nothing since I've entered his life .
Jemma
Consumer 2
Consumer 2
 
Posts: 53
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 4:39 pm
Local time: Thu Jan 17, 2019 6:54 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Having doubts about the relationship which make me restless.

Postby xiximmxi » Thu Oct 25, 2018 4:22 pm

What a load of horseshit.
I'm glad he finally broke up with you and stopped wasting your time.
I can tell you right now, he will learn that he fudged up real soon and try to come back to you... Just be prepared to tell him to go f himself :wink:

Love is a luxury, not a necessity.
It's a two-way street; it's a give & take.

He does not respect your feelings, you don't need a man like that.
User avatar
xiximmxi
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed May 18, 2016 3:01 pm
Local time: Wed Jan 16, 2019 7:24 pm
Blog: View Blog (3)


Return to Relationship Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 15 guests