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limerence with an emotionally healthy partner

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limerence with an emotionally healthy partner

Postby MundaPunjabi » Sun Sep 16, 2018 5:33 pm

I have realised that i am most of the time thinking about the nostalgia of the previous years or i am thinking about future fantasies as i am hardly living in the present. Now i am practicing how to live in the present. I do miss that adrenaline rush though, that i used to feel in the past and it made me do things that i cannot get the will power to do now. 2 years ago, when i was in a relationship with my borderline ex, i remember that i ended up doing a 19 hours static shift (From 9 am till 4 am next morning) as a Security Guard at an NRL Match (Sunday 3rd Oct 2016) screening in Sydney (Australia). I was so inspired by or addicted to my borderline ex that i ended up making enough money to buy her a $499 heart pendant so i could give it to her one day. My fellow guards who were working with me, were astonished to see me foot patrolling the premises very aggressively going back and forth like a robot from point A to point B around 6 pm (9 hours into the shift). They told me to slow down but my brain was not saying that i was tired when in fact i was physically tired, little did they know that i was lost in my fantasy world (Me and my borderline ex as husband and wife) and that fantasy gave me the adrenaline rush to keep going. Now, that im in a healthy relationship, the lack of adrenaline meant that i find it painful to stand even 4 hours as a static security guard. I now work as a gate house security guard in an office for Caterpillar where i get to sit for long hours and do some random foot patrolling around the premises. Long story short, my fantasies made me do extraordinary stuff. I want to know how i can get the same adrenaline rush one day with my emotionally healthy partner to develop healthy love?
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Re: limerence with an emotionally healthy partner

Postby xdude » Mon Sep 17, 2018 11:08 am

Yes, a relationship with someone with BPD can awaken those strong up/down emotions. I don't have any specific advice though other then to pass on something someone else conveyed to me...

The emotions you felt around your BPD ex are your emotions. They were there before she came along, and still are. All the romanticism, feeling alive, passionate, that is all you. This person suggested to me therapy, and practicing letting those feels come out around others. Easier said then done of course, but I found it to be good advise.
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