Dating someone with BPD

Hi my girlfriend was just recently diagnosed with BPD and wanted to know if you guys had any good advice or tips for me to be with her. Like, if there are obvious things that your partner does not understand or wished they knew before the start of your relationship. I very much love her but I just want to make sure I'm not screwing something up accidentally.

learn as much about it as you can, read books - Loving Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder is a good one. learn how to validate. The High Conflict Couple is another good book that uses DBT skills to explain validation and other positive communication skills. and encourage her in her journey of treatment and recovery.

May I ask how long have you been together?

Now this one is the most difficult part for most people to accept but if she is not actively engaging with specialized treatment for her BPD then none of the suggestions below will have any real impact whatsoever on your relationship.

I agree try to read as much as you can and educate yourself about the condition. Try to avoid random opinions from google searches and maybe start with something that is is a bit more evidence based like the 'I hate you, Don't leave me'.

You will also need to make sure that you have a very good support system for your needs and don't try to take this all onto your hands like unfortunately some of us did. Ask for help when you are feeling overwhelmed, talk things through with your close friends and family be open about your boundaries and don't violate them.

Lastly I would seriously consider couples therapy at some point as I think it is difficult to learn communicating effectively without that.

If it all fails don't blame yourself...You were never responsible for her having BPD and you were never responsible for the success or not of her treatment.