My Girlfriend has been acting weird.

So I know this will sound childish at first, but I feel I need to talk to someone about this, at the very least post on a forum to get a wider opinion.

My girlfriend likes to give her opinion on certain topics and hold onto it like it matters the most. If I so much as contest or question it, I get put in the wrong and she ends up being angry at me.

So for the past three occasions, my girlfriend and I have had discussions about movies. The first being Power Rangers (2017), then War for the Planet of the Apes (2017), and then Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017). For Power Rangers, she told me it sucked without giving me any valid evidence that it did. I'm an avid film lover, so I see it a lot differently than she does. But she never goes into any detail as to why something is terrible; to her, it just is because it's her opinion. So without giving me any time to defend why I thought it was an okay film, she continually bashed the film and gave me no breathing room, telling me I'm wrong that it's "chiidish" to defend something as stupid as the Power Rangers, and that I should "act my age." She was also the one to start the conversation, as I was watching a video on YouTube prior to this, and she commented saying "at least it's more interesting than than garbage Power Rangers movie." So she started that argument.

The second time was with War of the Planet of the Apes. We haven't seen it yet, but I'm looking forward to seeing it. However, she says the other films are terrible (the most recent ones), and that the originals were more convincing. Again, she didn't go into detail as to why she thought they were terrible. So, being the reasonable man I am, wanted to know why. She wouldn't give me any valid points, so I pointed out reasons why they were great films. She huffed and told me I was "attacking her opinion", and that I should shut up before she "says something that will hurt my feelings." So I laugh, thinking she's joking. She then tells me that I should "stop acting like a little bitch and just admit that something is garbage whenever anyone else thinks it's good." That was both an attack on me, and anyone else who likes it. This is where we got into a huge argument, and I told her to drop the subject before it got out of hand again. I was quite offended at this point, and didn't know what else to say.

The third (and most recent) event took place with Spider-Man: Homecoming. There was no argument this time, as we both like Marvel and were looking forward to watching it. She asked me how it was, and I told her all my valid points while backing them up (she was on her phone at this point, nodding every point I made). She then proceeds to say, and I quote, "What I didn't like is that they had to modernize it. Why did they have to make both girls in the movie black? They should have at least made one of them white."

I stopped talking because I was immediately furious about that comment, so I casually said "Okay, well maybe the writers intended on it being that way?" She then responds with the following: "Okay, well I didn't mean it in a racist way, so don't go there. All I'm saying is one of them should have been white."

It was at this point where I chose to stop talking about the topic entirely. I was seriously on fire, and kept it bottled up inside.

I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 4 years, and we bought a house together about a year ago. I understand that sometimes she likes to not back up her opinions, and I choose to just let her win. I want to understand why it's like this; why is it that she verbally assaults me for liking something I love, calling me inappropriate names, and resorting to very insensitive comments and using them as her basis for the argument? Please, someone help me understand this mess.

Hey ryang1790,

Just my 2 cent opinion -

A few thoughts come to mind:

I'm guessing, but you indicated there are other topics, and that the movies are just examples of a more general pattern. Correct?

There are priorities, or should be, in our lives. On one end of the spectrum of priorities, our core values and beliefs may be worth fighting for in some circumstances. Then on the other end of the spectrum, our subjective preferences (e.g., one person enjoys yellow mustard, while another enjoys spicy mustard) are essentially never worth fighting for. In other words, having a fight over a low priority matter costs more in emotional damage to the relationship than any point won.

Sadly some people really do confuse their subjective preferences with objective truth. To use that same example, these are the people that tell really believe the only real mustard is yellow mustard, and any other preference is utterly 'wrong', bad taste, vile, etc. You can fill in whatever subjective preferences here in place of the mustard example.

What is a concern then is if your GF thinks in terms of her subjective preferences are factually 'right', yours and others are wrong, and that does call into question her judgement, and is a red-flag. For people that always need to be 'right', no matter how trivial the matter, odds are you'll be facing more of that going forward.

As far as the specific movies go... yea, well hey, I still watch Disney movies too now and then, so I would say on someone telling me I cannot enjoy them. That written, my guess is she has some mental image of what an adult man should be, think, and feel, and here is the irony... she likely learned that from movies, TV shows, maybe fictional books

Gosh, If you argue like this over petty stuff how goes the Important stuff ? If I'm being honest here you sound like a push over, and every time you allow her to speak to you this way it will lead to more and more disrespect. Sounds like you don't have much in common, perhaps you should analyze your relationship bc based on the petty argument here it doesn't sound like a mature relationship, more like high school. Good luck.