Girlfriend broke up with me because I'm not "spontaneous"

(Long post here, with a lot to unpack. Thank you to all who take the time to answer.)

When my girlfriend and I met, there was definite chemistry, but more importantly, a sense of compatibility and familiarity. Within a month or two we were saying "I love you" and talking about our future together (house, kids, etc...) Our families loved each other. I made her happy and she let me know that she's never felt so hopeful about a relationship before.

Everything seemed great for the first couple of months. We went on trips and had a great time. I met all her friends and she mine.

(Some background: She was in an emotionally abusive relationship with a man ten years her senior. When she divorced him and filed a restraining order, he committed suicide. That was several years ago.)

A big turning point happened when, on the anniversary of her husband's death, she became super emotional, talked about wanting to run away into the sunset, and invited me 7:00 am on that Saturday morning to go on a day long road trip/hike with her. I felt like it was springing too much on me too soon, and felt weird by the request for several reasons. I declined, which I knew was the wrong move at the time, and still regret it. She ended up going without me (and with her male friend, which I only found out later). She confessed months later that this hurt her and worried that I couldn't be as "spontaneous" as her.

There's been other awkward missteps.I couldn't join her for dinner one evening because I had to prepare for work the next day, which upset her. I became a little upset when she wasn't joining me at my apartment despite me coming over to hers very frequently.

I've occasionally felt uncomfortable at her place for reasons I can't put my finger on - something in my gut wells up and I feel very restless and out of place. I don't know exactly why that is, and find it concerning. But I tried to never let it become an issue.

I also stopped feeling lust for her like I did before, something I've dealt with in other relationships.

I communicated some of these feelings to her the other day, when I thought everything was good between us. My goal was for her to better understand my emotional state so we could work on it together. But it apparently triggered something in her. She freaked out, became combative with me, and said "I can't believe this is happening."

She broke out crying and said she's had doubts about us from all the issues over the past two months, that 8 months is too short for a relationship to start breaking down. I told her she has a point, but none of these things should be insurmountable, and that I love and care about her and want to make it work.

I went over to her house yesterday, though she was on her way to go hiking with a male "friend" (apparently from her master's program). She was much calmer but told me she doesn't think we should be dating because:

1) She thinks I don't find her attractive anymore, and that's a major blow to her self esteem, especially considering her history of body image issues.
2) She thinks we're too incompatible. She wants a man who will surprise her with sudden trips on a Saturday morning, and go and have "limitless experiences" with her.

I told her she's not asking much of me at all - that I would love to take her on trips. I also told her that she's not gross, that I'm still attracted to her (which is still mostly true).

I can't help but feel she's freaking out unnecessarily and throwing away the most loving relationship either of us have ever been in. I can't deny she has valid points, but I feel the love and care we feel for each other - as well as all the ways we ARE compatible - should out weigh the bad.

Am I being naive? Does she have a point? Or is she giving up too easily because of her past baggage?

This can be retrieved if you say and do the right things. She wants you to be more sponstaneous, to be more exciting - that's easily done. Think of some great things to do and ask her if she'd be interested in doing it with you. Tell her that you are of course attracted to her and that lust obviously dips after being with someone for a while. Everyone knows that at first you can't wait to get intimate with someone you really are into, but after time the relationship changes and it is more about love and companionship.

Don't give up on this, you can easily turn it around.

I was stuck in decades of routine and isolated living and it was suggested to me by a clergy to do one spontaneous act a day to break me out of my shell. It took me out of my comfort-zone, but helped me grow and become more social.
It doesn't have to be something big or earth-shattering, just something that you usually wouldn't do once a day. A sense of humor always helps.
I was doing this for me. If you are trying to change in order to please someone else, I don't know if it will be successful.
Best of luck to you.