Me and him met in november 2014 through his then girlfriend. We met on facebook. I added her because I thought she was funny and after some time she said it was ok to add her boyfriend too because she didn't mind it. I was just excited because he is foreign and so I just wanted to get to know someone from a different culture.
For 6 months we talked as friends. Nobody did anything. It was obvious we kind of liked each other but nothing more. He wasn't even my type and I was crushing on another guy. After 6 months he unfriended me but not before explaining that his gf was acting up about us and facebook. I understood but for some reason I was sad even though I had other online friends.
Fast forward to 4 months afterwards when he added me back, appologizing for what happened and hoping we could be friends again. He and Her broke up and he was single. He told me he missed me a lot and that for some reason he kept thinking about me and realized he more than liked me. He told me he loved me a month after he came back and wanted to be friends. I started to like him too.
We started a relationship and it lasted for 9 months. He was a loyal guy, he didn't hide stuff from me and tried to share with me anything he could. His steam, adobe accounts, his facebook page for his business, you name it. He was a very open guy. We didn't argue much during our relationship but being that I was hurt before i had some trust issues so I was afraid he might do something. Our major argument was 3 months into our relationship when I saw his ex asked him how he was. She already had someone but I didn't know that. I was upset over that but he assured me it was nothing and upon my asking he showed me the conversations. They were rare, about 2 months in between and very casual.
That passed and I understood. He told me he broke it off with her but in reality they broke up becuase they both agreed to do so. I found this out after our break up and i swear it would have been better to know this instead of the other version. Anyway, moving on.
All was well. We even started talking about eventually moving in together next year and we really really wanted a family. We really wanted a baby together at some point. Him and me were very excited and we were dreaming about it. So all was going well between us. Only minor arguments mostly about me going on about facebook related stuff like posting or seeing that on a hard drive of his he had some leftover photos of his ex and him and I didn't understand that people do not really go around deleting everything. He was kind and explained to me and reassured me he was mine. It was my first real relationship so I had no idea how to act in some instances. I had a 3 month relationship as a teen but i wasn't serious.
Anyway, in July i moved back in my hometown from the city I stayed in for 2 years for my masters' degree. I didn't want to move, not really but I wasn't decisive enough and I couldn't really find a job that would allow me to pay rent and buy food. He offered to pay first month till i get myself going in that city. I couldn't bring myself to accept his money. Me coming home was the start of our problems. It was a long distance relationship what we had. So it was already hard with missing one another and it was especially hard for me since I didn't have one till then.
In the meantime I met his parents. They were looking forward to meeting me because I was nice and i kept sending them packages for different holidays to show them I care. Becuase his previous ex did not get along with them and they made a big fuss about it to him. I met them and they were nice and all and I did everything I could so that they'd like and leave him alone. Only to hear that after the second time his mom saw me she didn't quite like me because I was immature and childlish but nice. He always said to me it didn't matter what his parents think but what he thinks so I was ok with that.
But at the begining of august, he said to me he finds himself wanting to talk to me less because I was being moody, both because I couldn't really find a job and because I was arguing with my parents. And he knew that. So after an argument he gave me another chance and said that we're going back to the base values of our relationship and that there will be no talk about the future until i try to change. His major complaints were that I was spineless and that I gave in to my parents to come home, that I needed to grow up and that I don't speak up and have an opinion about stuff. In reality, because I was bullyed in school, I now tend to be the peacekeeper and tend to avoid conflict and I am afraid to lose people around me and as such I have a tendency to not express my opinion and be a bit spinelss in the process.
Anyway after he gave me a chance and said he wants to see stuff happening in my life, becuase I also kind lost my individuality becuase I was so in love and missed him so much and I knew I did that but I was trying hard to get back into my hobbies. After that, the two weeks that followed were awful, in the sense that he went back and forth with stuff. His birthday was coming up and I said that if he doesn't want me to come I can understand to which he got mad and I said that he wants me to show him I want to come, that I have a spine and I want stuff but I was just being considerate. He said his mood was plunging and that I need to find a way to bring it up again. In the meantime he admited to me he had some guilty thoughts that he thought about how it would be to date other girls if or when he was single and that his mind was throwing at him people from his past that he had chemestry with. But then he said the despite that he couldn't cheat on me not even with his mind and that told him I was the one for him and that he wanted me and only me. From then on I did everything I could, I played games with him as we used to, watched movies etc. It seemed to kind of work. We talked about breaking up, as in that it might be a possibiltiy and the reasons it might happen. A night before dumping me he said he wants to try our best and that he loves and always wants to be a part of my life. But lately he wasn't so sure I was what he wanted as he was before. It was bad - he wanted me he didn't want me, he wanted me to come only for him to turn around and not want that anymore. The day he dumped me, we talked and it was ok-ish. He even found a job for me in the same company he worked but for the department that was in my city. He said that the best friend in him was happy about it not the boyfriend. A couple of hours after that I went to see a friend and that's when he dumpd me via messenger, while he was at work. He said he felt like crying and that it was hard but maybe we can still be friends. I was crushed. I had hope and he took it from me.
He put the break up and his actions under the label of I was Confused.
After the break up things got ugly because I wanted more answers and for a month on and off we had long talks about us and our issues. He ended up blocking me almost everywhere becuase I promised Id give us space but I didn't. He said some hurtful things to me like: I can't wait for you forever, Awesome people do not wait, I am a reward you got too early. And it hurt so bad especially since he always said how he thought i was awesome and nice. He said he didn't mean to hurt me and that he still loved me and missed me but he had to lose me and broke up with me because he loved me. he feared he would abuse me because of my tendency to be silent about stuff and he didn't want that because he had an example in his family. He said it was a considerate break up and that i ll see that but I just thought he was a jerk. His first gf left him without explaining why and without giving a heads up about it. So he thought that if he explained to me why and tell me that we might break up that it would be fair to me and easier. It wasn't.
To top it all of, in june i had him meet one of my friends, a girl i knew for 6 years. She was a good friend to me albeit needy and moody sometimes. He just broke up with her bf. So after i had them meet we went home to our cities. She came to the city he was living in with work related stuff because she had too. And then a second time for a concert. He asked me if it was ok to go out with her since he had no friends in that city, being that he lived in another country for a long time and just moved in this city recently. So I said yes. They went out 2 times the first time she was visiting with work and 2 times when she was there with the concert. She brought some friends along to go out with them. He told me everyime what they were doing and such and I know he didn't cheat or aynthing. But close to our break up they went out one last time and before that I told them I started to feel envious and bad but that I know it's no ok to feel that way and that I don't want to forbid them from going out as friends, im not like that.
After our break up, I was upset and asked him if he liked her. He initially told me he wouldn't touch her with a stick because she might have had depression and he had a gf with depression. And he told that to her too because she asked what he thought of girls like her. So when I asked him he said he merely finds her attractive because he misjudged her and got to know her better. I was crushed. He said he wouldn't tell why but I figured why. because she had a job and was living alone, things I didn't have anymore. He said it was just merely that and she had nothing to do with our break up.
I have no idea if it's true or not. His best friend said he did mention that to him and he was not impressed. So who knows but it was painful.
His mom also said he could do better after our break up.
I do not really have closure. It's been two months since we talked and three since we broke up. I vented at him on his birthday and he said he knew he hurt me but couldn't do anything about it.
Also found out from a friend of mine that I also introduced to him, a guy this time, that he said a lot of nice things aobut me to him among those being that im a good soul that deserves all the loving and caring the world. Hyprocrite much?
DUnno it was bad. I think he never loved me. If he did he wouldn't have just left. I wanted to go see him and talk, he wanted it to only to say no after just minutes of me saying Id come visit. said he couldn't bear to know me on a train alone with my heart broken despite the fact that when i wanted to come we were still together and he said he wanted to spend time but not share a hotel room becuase he thought it was not fair on me.
What do you guys think?
He was an ass after the break up. During our relationship the only bad thing he did was thereatening me twice with breaking up and he did appologize for that in the end. I had a huge fear of losing him.
Found out he started dating the the friend i mentioned here. So called friend
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