I think my husband might have BPD

Hi, I'm not really looking for answers, I know he would have to go to a doctor. Really, I just need someone to listen. My husband and I had our first daughter a year and a half ago, after 10 years of marriage. And it seems, ever since then, he's changed. My mother says, "Well, he's always said mean things to you. That's how you guys are." And I try to explain that, no, it's no longer sarcasm, it's very abusive. He yells at me for everything. He believes I should do all the cooking and cleaning. He's always harping at me to have more respect for him. He's just become a real asshole. But the thing is, he does have sort of moments of clarity, where for a short time, he doesn't believe everyone on Earth is an evil piece of scum out to get him. This past week in fact, he was very happy. Very, very happy. Too happy, really. Almost manic. He was acting like a little kid basically. But tonight, while at my parents' house, my mom made one 'wrong' comment, and it set him off. Of course, I didn't even know 'til we got home, and he started bad mouthing her like usual. My heart sank, and I thought, "Well, crap, I guess the manic part is over." We, of course, got into an argument. Him telling me I was blind to the subliminal messages my mother was trying to send to our daughter, and me telling him he's imagining things. As far as help, we almost had him signed up for counseling. He agreed, if I got counseling too, he would go. But we got there too late that day, and before we could find another time to go back, I lost my job and my insurance. So now he won't go if I can't, 'cause he thinks I'm the one with the problem. And I admit that I do have depression and it may have worsened since the baby, but he's downright paranoid delusional. Anyway, that's my rant. Feel free to comment with any advice you guys may have. Thanks.