Friendship jealousy.

Hello, I am new to the board. I have a question.

Me and my friend Robert have been best friends for about 3 years now. I was being homeschooled for about a semester (high school) and he made friends with a girl named April...and they hung out alot at school. I was barely introduced to April this year, and we all hung out alot. Now I have started to hang out with April without him there, because we are close friends now. Robert has barely been talking to us, and not wanting to hang out with us lately.. He always says he doesn't want to, or doesn't feel good.. We think he is just angry because me and April have been hanging out alot.

Here is some background, he has done this before. He made friends with another person Samantha when I was homeschooled another semester. (I have been off and on homeschool) and then introduced us..and I always become friends with who he introduces me to.. Me and Samantha hung out alot, because she went into home school too..so we were always hanging out when he was at school..and we became very close friends. He started not wanting to hang out..and avoided me sometimes.. and I think he is doing it again.

What should I do? April agrees he is acting very strange with both of us. Should we talk to him? He tends to supress his feelings around me for some reason,, he is very open with April, and he has known me longer, and hangs out with me more, well used to.

He also has this habit of giving people hugs that he barely knows...but when it comes to his two best friends, he doesn't get close in that sort of way.

~Melanie

Wow, this forum is not very helpful, or active for that matter!!

Hey punkygirl0101,

How are you today?

sorry it can be pretty slow sometimes. (especially in the summer because people are out more so they dont come on the computer as much)

Ok about the main post. I think you should try talking to him about this. Tell him how you feel about it and that you would love it if you could all hang out. Your probably right about him being jealous. Maybe he think's he's losing his best friend. Try explaining to him that he will always be your best friend, even if you have new ones. I hope thing's work out. Good Luck.

Take care,
Kayty

Hey Melanie,
I agree with Kayty, you should definetely talk to him about how you feel. You're right, he probably feels jealous and left out; maybe he feels hurt and like you and April don't need him anymore, now that you're spending so much time together? I think you should tell him that his friendship is very important to you, and ask him how you and April can make him feel more included.
Good luck, and take care!
<3
drama_queen

Hey PunkyG~

Friendships can be pretty emotional. It sure sounds as though Robert does feel left out and hurt. Maybe you and April could invite Robert to hang out or do something individually with him for a while until he can see that you both care about him and gradually all three of you may do things together.
I think it is great that you care enough about his feelings to ask for help in trying to figure out how to reunite your friendship.

cJo

Hi Punkygirl0101,

I believe that Robert might be disheartened by your close relationship with April and Samantha. He might be thinking that they see a more appealing characteristic in your personality, as compared to his. It might all be a delusion. Nonetheless, you should talk to him. Share with him what you feel about your friendship with him.

I've come across these situations before so I separate my 'friendship' groups. No one from one group ever speaks or ever interacts, with another group for that matter. Only when the occasions calls for it will I ever introduce someone. It's selfish but it's the only way to keep a hold of your friends from drifting with other friends of yours.

Anyway, if you can't get through to him - try asking April to speak to him. In a sense, he might find some hostility in you from perhaps, stealing his friends away from him. From your view, it doesn't seem like it but he possibly might see it that way. If April is capable, get her to express to him that you still value his friendship.

Best of luck!

infekt