Married Guy Obsessed with Younger Lady

I have been married for 10 years and my wife and I are both about 35 years old. We have 3 kids and have never had any cheating in our marriage.

I am a person who must travel for my job on many occasions throughout the year. In the last 10 years I have been on many business trips with many different people and never felt any real urge to cheat on my wife. However, recently I spent a week out of town with a beautiful 25 year old lady that just took me to another world! I didn’t cheat with her but I do feel like I have fallen head over heals! I can’t stop thinking about her and I can’t stand to be around my wife or kids since I got back! On every other trip I remember I couldn’t wait to get home to see my wife and kids, but after this trip I didn’t want to see them and I have tried to fake it since I have been home. I can’t explain it, but I miss this lady so much! I have knots in my stomach and I think about here constantly.

I assume the feeling may fade over time, but the problem is that I will have to travel with her again every month and I am not sure how I can handle this. She has a boyfriend and probably has no interest in me, but I can’t stop thinking about her anyway. We had long conversations on the trip and her beauty outside and inside just blows me away!

How can I get past these feelings and reconnect with my family before I do something I may regret for the rest of my life?

Please help!

Scott

Stay away from trouble before trouble gets you. You are going to be sorry. I don't care how she looks, makes you feel, etc. Don't do it. Respect your family and remember your promise. Many families have been destroyed by this, do not become another statistic. You are also going to get hurt. Make efforts to change the travel arrangements before you get too involved. Talk to your wife, go to counseling if you need to. See your pastor, but don't try to soleve a
problem by creating another. I hope this helps.

Scott,
For you to be feeling this way, there must be something that the relationship with your wife is lacking. Maybe spontineity, romance, sexual attraction. So what I think you need to do is evaluate the situation. Think about why you married your wife. Think about why she made you so happy before you met this other woman. The world is full of beautiful women, but, you can't fall in love with them all. Maybe you should try to spice things up with your wife, because you might just be getting bored. I wouldn't be too hastey because you might really regret it. Maybe try getting some couples counsiling, or maybe just one on one counsiling for you to start, or go on a romantic vacation just the 2 of you. Try and remember what made you fall in love with your wife. You might realize that you were just bored and needed some excitement in your love life, or, you might realize that you never did fall in love with her, or you fell out of love with her. Which would be very sad, because this would be very upsetting to the children. But, you know, that you do deserve to be happy, and you deserve to be in love. But like I said don't be too hasty you don't want to make any rash decisions and lose your family. Just remember that even though you may feel that your feelings are wrong, and most of the women on this site are going to to tell you that they are, your feelings are still your feelings, and they obviously mean something. You can't stop yourself from feeling the way that you are feeling, but, you can change the way you are feeling. Whether it means improving your relationship with your wife , or ending it, you deserve to be happy and in love. Take care.
Amy

don't do it... the best advice I received was to just get away from this guy that I had fallen head over heals in love with. I did it and it cost me everything. My marriage, my life basically. I wish I had never cheated... If I only had not been so dumb...

she'll leave you and you just gave up your wife & family... huge, huge mistake. You will forever regret it...

blondini2004 wrote:don't do it... the best advice I received was to just get away from this guy that I had fallen head over heals in love with. I did it and it cost me everything. My marriage, my life basically. I wish I had never cheated... If I only had not been so dumb...

she'll leave you and you just gave up your wife & family... huge, huge mistake. You will forever regret it...

Not everybody's circumstances are the same. Thats why I said that you really need to evaluate the situation. Who is to say that this young woman isn't the love of your life. Just remember that you only live once so choose wisely. If you are not in love with your wife anymore it's not fair to you or to her to stay in the relationship. But, you also need to remember that in every relationship the newness wears off too. So the excitement of being with this new woman could be making you feel like you are in love with her. Go with your heart and yo9u can't go wrong. Do what is going to make you happy. You can still be a good father to yuor children even if you aren't with your wife. You should probably seek counciling for this. You might discover that you are still desperately in love with you wife and that you were just getting bored. take care
Amy

I have been right where you are now and I have lived through it. It will be very hard to avoid someone you have to work with so I don't suggest you try. You need to set yourself up mentally to tackle this problem. The easiest thing to do is to find something about the "perfect lady" that isn't so perfect and focus on that. If you are like me, you are doing the opposite, you are finding negative things in your wife and children. Don't go out of your way to be around the girl just work with her like you would with anyone else. What ever you do don't tell this younger woman about any of this. This will lead to trouble at home, trouble at work and no way out. Going on a trip with your wife is good advice. Getting away from the kids and the day-to-day grind with your wife can do a world of good.

It is easy to give advice but it is hard to take it.