PLEASE HELP, IM LOSING MY HEAD

Ok, so here's the story. I've been with this girl for 2 and a 1/2 years. Since my senior year in HS. But, the thing is, we have both been involved in long term relationships previously. I was involved with a girl for 2 years before her in HS and she was involved with two diff guys .. each for like a year or two. Everything has been awesome in our relationship until this year.

Around March, she started acting weird and kind of pushing me away, ignoring me alittle bit. I called her out on it and she finally told me, she realized she hasnt been treating me right and she wanted to take a "break". I didnt want to, we both cried over it, and i let her go, kind of. I went home from school right after she did it, and she said it hit her right there, wow he is gone. The next night and couple of days she called me every night and eventually told me she missed me and wanted me back because she wanted to be with me. That was good to me, i had her explain to me, u know, what she learned and everything and i took her back. From then on everything was awesome. Till, about 3 days ago ...

She started treating me weird again and i called her out on it again, and asked her if her feelings had changed for me. She said no at the time but later said that they had and that she never even thought about it until i said something. So she wants to completely break up this time, no "break". So it's been 3 days and im dead inside and i dont know what to do.

She said she needs some time to herself and that maybe why her feelings have changed is because she wants to be alone for awhile. She said she can see us being together again ... "down the road" ... and that at the same time she doesnt know what is going to happen, so i shouldnt base everything around us getting back together. She said she doesn't know what she wants anymore and i can't help but talk to her. Although, about 5 minutes ago we just had a little fight, i think she was alittle annoyed i was bothering her but, she never said it was over and never said we were deff getting back together. So i told her thats not fair to me and that i am just going to go on thinking she'll never come back and that i hope she realizes some things.

You know, she may need time to herself and she just needs to realize that i am the one for her, we are only 20 years old but, i really believe i am supposed to be with her. But i just dont know what to do and i dont know what is going to happen, even tho i really believe she'll come back. I have been the best boyfriend shes ever had. E-mail me or post on here PLEASE!!!

hello,

thanks for sharing.

i think that she is in a very confused state right now... possibly an identity crisis. she says she doesn't know what she wants, and her feelings towards you have been wavering... something inside of her might be changing, and this is making it hard for her to decide on what she wants... i think you should giver her some space, and let her think for a while... let her be. if she wants to be with you again, she will let you know. i'm sure that she will soon let you know what she has decided on. give her a few days... if she hasn't said anything, start communicating with her again, but do it gently. tell her how you feel... try to be sympathetic and understanding towards her. i do think she's going through a stressful time, and even though i know you want to help, i feel that attempting to do so will only make her feel worse, and she might wrongly attribute her increase of stress to you...

so, for now... give her some time to think on her own. i know it's hard, because you want to know what she's thinking, what's going through her mind... but, i don't think she knows herself, yet... and i don't think she will be able to if you try to tell her how she should feel, or what you want her to feel. i understand that it's a difficult situation, but if you really do care for her... let her make her decision. if she decides to not be with you, i do think it will hurt both of you... but, if you two were meant to be, she will come back.

i'm hoping for the best

thank you so much, means a lot to me. I hope it works out for the best for both of us.

I know you're young...so I'm taking that into consideration.
I can tell you right now that there's a 90% chance that you two will NOT end up together. THat's the way it goes.
Young ppl date..they love...they leave. PPl need to do it. To learn. To experience. To appreciate the right gig when it comes along.

By you trying to force it...you're only going to push her farther away. RELAX. Chill Out. Enjoy life. Do whatever it is you do. Hang out with friends. date other girls. Make friends. HAVE FUN.
Life is too short to spend worrying about who you're going to "be with" for the rest of your life.
I hope you date at least 10 more ppl before you get married (if marriage is where you're headed).
Because: you'll be a wiser, more enriched person from it.
I know you love her...i hope you will love many more girls....
When you get older you will understand what I'm saying. Love is a blessing. Be grateful that you loved her and she loved you back...I'm sure you two will always care about eachother bec you shared something special. But move on, and be loved by others....and share everything YOU have to offer as well.

update ...


yesterday she text'd me out of no where about her court date. A couple of months ago she got in a car accident and the state trooper gave her a speeding ticket when he wasnt there to clock her. So she protested it ... had the court date yesterday i guess and sent me a text message saying that "hey i just wanted to let you know that i didnt get charged for my ticket".

WHY. why would she do this after breaking my heart to pieces?

i dont know what to do anymore ...

i dont want to give up

update again ...


I asked her the other day, in a text message, to tell me if its over or what. Because i feel like i cant fully move on unless i know it's over for sure. She said, im sorry i cant give you a straight answer and that she really just thinks it's the fact shes been in so many long term relationships and she just needs time to stand on her own two feet. She also said, you know you need it too ... and I thought about it, i've never really been totally on my own ... so i know it'll be good for me but, i have never had a girl like her, never had a "break up" like this that didnt go bad/sour and that is left open for other opportunities. So i dont want to let it go and i dont know that i ever will but, i find myself with NOTHING but hope ... and i know some of you are going to say thats dumb ... but without hope right now ... i have nothing. I HONESTLY AND TRULY believe she is my one and only.

I said to her on the phone, "some people are telling me that you saying you can see us together in the future is just an easy way out for u, with less hurt and blame for u." and she said, no way and that she really does feel that way. And i can see the same but, at the same time, shes risking so much.

Can any girls tell me a logical answer to this situation? or even guys? ANYONE!?!!? Why would a girl thats been with a guy for 2 and a 1/2 years, break up with him when he has done NOTHING but treat her like gold?

You know, i tried to break up with her a few times, i never lasted more than a day without her ... and by coming back to me, she showed me something.

you know, i didnt ASK for her and i wasnt LOOKING for her, she just came to me and i hesitated asking her out at first cause i didnt want to get hurt again. I believe'd i really wouldn't get hurt again but, now i am and i love her and can gurantee i will for the rest of my life. those are some big words, i know, but their true. im kinda feeling like that guy from the notebook right now but, yeah, SOMEONE PLEASE SHED SOME LIGHT FOR ME ... please, i need it more than ever

helpless romantic,

i share your pain (at least to some extent). i think she sent you the text message with the court update because she still wants to communicate with you in some way. i think the court issue might have been something that has been on the forefront of her mind, and it might've helped her feel better by sending you the text message.

you said you've treated her like gold, but you also said that you've tried to break up with her a few times... why did you try to do that?

i think she wants to be on her own. you mentioned that she's been in several long-term relationships, but maybe she doesn't get what she needs from them. maybe all she really wants is independence... her reason for not being with you doesn't have to be because of you... at least she still talks to you, although i know it's not the way you want it to be... but at least she's around you.

i do understand what it's like to not have closure. have you told her that you want/need closure, and this is why you want a definitive answer from her? if she really cared about you, she should be able to provide one... and not one that's ambiguous, or indefinite.

i feel for you. take care*