Watching sexy videos

As this is something I massively struggle with myself, I really understand how you feel.

Contemplate wrote:Yes, I mean my biggest fear would be loosing him to someone else, so if we (he) is watching porn/images of girls, then I am loosing his attention momentarily. I think you can love someone in general and watch porn, but while you're in the zone, you can't be exactly thinking how much you love them at that time, right (at least usually most of people don't)? And while you're watching tv, cooking, walking your dog, working etc. you can think of your significant other and think how much you love them (it's possible, not weird).

I'm really relieved to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I can't speak for others, but for me porn just makes me feel disgusting and I'd rather go back to my partner instead.

I really think that you need to sit down and talk about this in a way that isn't invalidating. Make sure that you don't sound accusatory, and instead say "When [blank] happens I feel like [blank]". He trusted you, but if he loses that trust simply because of how you feel, then I feel that's a bit over the top. he should respect your opinion. Again, I can't speak for anyone else, but that "fresh or new in person" thing is something I just can't believe. I can't. it sounds like garbage to me. Honestly, if it was up to me I don't think people in relationships should watch it. But I suppose working on jealousy is important, purely for our own sake, because our self esteem is important, and we can't control anyone else.