GF says she is having serious doubts.

Previously, I posted a thread on my girlfriend not showing me her texts because she says I should trust what she says and how she was hurt because she thought I didnt. This happened almost a month ago.


So this past week, I feel me and my girlfriend have been completely good. Like this past month has been our strongest in our 4 month period. In the past 7 days, she got back from a trip and her two cousins is staying with her and her mom. She asked me if I wanted to hang out Monday and I said yes. We hung out over her house and everything was all good, and she gave me three gifts she bought for me while she was on her trip (probably around $40 spent). She drove me home and we made out in her car. I took this as a good sign because the last time we kissed, it was after she told me she didn't think I trusted her so it wasn't as intimate. Later that night, she told me that her mom and two cousins were going to go to the movies later in the week. I asked if she wanted I could go (it was a scary movie and she didn't really want to see it). She said no and then I replied with we could go and see a different one by ourselves if she wanted. She said she would have to find out when they are going to the movies.

So on Tuesday afternoon (11:30), she told me she was going to lunch and then the movies with her mom and two cousins. I asked if it was too late for me to come and she said yes. I had something to do so I wished her a good movie and to text me later (she was already on her way to lunch). She told me the movie was good and that. So I then asked her if she wanted to come over my house later in the week (she rarely comes over). She then proceeded to ask me if my dad worked. I said no and she said that if he was, we could hang out at his work that same evening. I told her that she could come over my house today if she wanted. She asked her mom and told me that she wanted to and her mom said it was fine, and that she will head over whenever I wanted her to so I told her then was fine.

While she was over, we made out and did some touchy stuff (nothing underneath clothing and she didnt touch my junk at all). I thought this was very good because we had a couple long hard gazes into each other's eyes that we had never really had before. And I felt me and her have been on a whole new level intimately. After we did that, she was checking her phone and her mom texted her. Her mom told her that she needed to take her sport more seriously and that she was throwing away her career. This instantly changed her mood and she wanted to go home shortly after.
When she got home, I texted her and asked if I was moving to fast and if she wanted me to slowdown (this was the first time we really did any touchy stuff). She said "Yes. Please do." and then she went on to tell me something that devastated me. She said she felt our relationship was one-sided and I carried all the weight and it wasn't fair. She said she felt I was being clingy and she didn't like it, and she said an example was today where I asked about the movies. She said didn't know what to do and that she didn't think our relationship would be like this and she was sorry.

She warned me when we started dating about her being busy with golf and that. I think she kind of ignored her own warning and is wanting to see me more. But now she is starting to realize this and that she is forgetting about golf to be with me

I instantly asked if I could call her and we could talk it through. She turned me down, saying she was going to the movies (she told me before she didn't want to go at all since it was the scary movie). I asked if I could later that night, and if not, if I could ask her something. She said "No because now I'm going to the movies. If you have to email me or send me a message on Facebook so it's not so bad. I don't care. But yeah.".

So after she said this, I went to type up a long message on Facebook which basically said that I was sorry for pushing her beyond her limits and that I wouldn't try something for a long long time. And that I understand that golf is really important, more so than me, and that I was okay with that. I told her that I will do anything to stay with her, even if that meant we didn't see each other all the time, even once a week. I told her that these last few months have been the best of my life and it was because of her and that she has brought me so much happiness and joy to me.

I left her alone for the night (she read the Facebook message right after I sent it) and now it's the next day. I asked her mom if she was okay with me and her still going out because I thought she might have said something about me getting in the way of golf when she got back from my house. She told me that she had no clue nothing was wrong and she didnt have a chance to really talk with her because of the two cousins being there. She told me that her one cousin told her earlier yesterday afternoon she needs to buckle down with her sport or else she'll throw it all away.

Currently, I am now waiting for her to reply back. I think it will be best for me to wait for her to be ready to respond.

I think she is scared we are moving farther in the relationship. This combined with the fact her family is pressuring her to do her sport more, she is overwhelmed and flustered

My question for you guys:
1) what do you think of the situation?
2) what should I do?
3) why do you think she is acting so strange?

Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you need to act a little less needy. Never tell someone you'll do anything to stay with them. That's an invitation to be treated like something they've scraped off their shoe.

Yes, she is acting weird, and I'm sorry to say that I don't think you're a priority in her life at all by the sounds of that. I can only see things going one way.

Graveyard76 wrote:Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you need to act a little less needy. Never tell someone you'll do anything to stay with them. That's an invitation to be treated like something they've scraped off their shoe.

Yes, she is acting weird, and I'm sorry to say that I don't think you're a priority in her life at all by the sounds of that. I can only see things going one way.

Okay I phrased that part wrong. I said that to someone else.
I said "I really really care about you, and I would like for us to stay together, even if that means I cant see you alltime. Even if it's only once a week"

ggprox wrote:My question for you guys:
1) what do you think of the situation?
2) what should I do?
3) why do you think she is acting so strange?

1. It sounds like she is in a state where she isn't sure what she wants or how to spend her time with both. She's feeling very conflicting on it. I'm honestly not sure how you're being too needy. It doesn't sound like you're doing anything that wouldn't exist in a normal relationship. You ask to hang out, and if she can't you're understanding of it.

2. Honestly, there's nothing you really can do. You can be there for her, you can support her, and you can do anything to try, but at the end of the day it's up to her.

3. I pretty much answered this in #1. Stress and uncertainty are what I believe is the cause of this.

Please try to keep yourself calm and safe. I know you're under a lot of stress right now, but there's no telling what will happen. Be strong.