I'm literally going crazy because of my ex

My ex-girlfriend left me over a year ago. We were only together for 6 months. Nonetheless I still became very attached to her. She was my first girlfriend and I still haven't been with anybody else. She seemed so different from other women.

Soon after we broke up I realized I became more and more obsessed with her. I didn't stalk her or anything, I just _always_ thought about her and couldn't let go.

The though of her seeing someone else was killing me and I thought things couldn't get any worse.

However I've recently discovered that my best friend has a sexual relationship with her. Yes, my best friend is screwing the girl of my dreams and the one I'm obsessed with. Words cannot describe how painful it is.
I've told my psychiatrist only a fraction of all the miserable things that has happened in my life and he says I suffer from severe depression. I wonder what he said if I really told him everything.
I've thought of getting a new girlfriend but I'm so depressed it's really not an option. However I think if I met someone new she would make me feel better and that would solve my problems.

But the thing is, I'm not really good at meeting new people, not to mention asking someone out.

I work somewhere where I meet a lot of new people everyday (way older than me though). From time to time people tell me stuff like I have a really good attitude and they'd like to know me better. Some people even compliment my physical appearance. My point is I don't think I'm a completely lost cause in the dating business.

I feel like online dating is my only option but I'm sooo bad at giving a good impression to someone by just sending them a message and coming out as interesting. Like I feel that girls in online dating websites get so many messages that I need to be somehow special to get their attention. I really really dislike the whole "hunting" scene in dating too. I don't want to chase after anybody.

I treat everyone very kindly and I'm always really helpful but I feel like all I get in return is ****. I don't think I deserved all this to happen to me.

I'm only hoping to get some sympathy from here and maybe even some advice on meeting new people. Thank you.

yeah that isn't something pleasant to go through.

To get over her, you have to accept that you'll never be with her again. I mean, if a woman I liked slept with my best friend I wouldn't have interest in being with her again. Accept that it's over. It's very painful and sad, but you have to feel the sadness and get it all out. You should really talk to your psychiatrist about these things, that's what you pay them for! Why hold back?

As far as talking to girls goes, everyone makes it out to be such a complex thing. All you have to do is be yourself, and don't be afraid to be yourself and say what's on your mind. Girls like confidence, they like guys that don't hold back. If you don't connect well with someone by being yourself, then she isn't the right one for you. There are millions of people out there, you'll eventually find someone.

Online dating is okay to start out with. Don't try to impress them, just say what you want to say. If you liked something about their profile, or a picture of them, tell them. etc. The reason why I say not to try to impress them, is because people end up trying to say or be something they're not when they do that. They try too hard and fail, because you can only be yourself.

Please read the "sticky" thread at the top of this forum "The Seven Stages of Grief after the end of a relationship" and see if anything there resonates with you. It sounds as if you're still grieving or the loss of your relationship, and this may possibly have compounded your existing depression.

Knowing something about the very normal and natural stages of grief after a relationship ends can help you to process your feelings, and know which stage you're at. If you can process these feelings, eventually you can come to a place of acceptance and resolution.

Your psychiatrist will be in a better position to help you if you can talk about the issues you haven't mentioned yet. If you feel that you may find this difficult, perhaps you could consider counselling, in addition to having psychiatric help. A skilled counsellor or therapist can gently help you to talk about the things that have caused you pain, and to find effective ways of dealing with them, which can enable you to find a new sense of hope for the future. Most importantly, they will listen to you and validate you. As your self esteem increases through therapy, you can begin to gain a sense of understanding and acceptance of yoursel, and make healthy and positive changes from within.

Do you feel that it may be more helpful to you to make friendships with girls at this moment, as opposed to seeking them out for relationships? I ask this because it seems, from what you're saying, that you may not have worked through all the stages of grief from your former relationship.

This is a very normal feeling after a break-up. We get such super-charged emotions tied to the person we just broke-up with that it can be kind of a shock to the system. Don't worry though, because everything is relative and the universe probably did you a favor. There is no doubt a better girl waiting for you somewhere!
For you friend to slide in right after you is kind of messed up too, but most relationships are formed through a friend network. It may distance you from your friend, but don't shut them out completely. They will definitely come back to you in the future.
My advice is to keep your head high and remember that only you can create your own happiness! If we depend on other people or things to provide us with joy, there is no question we will end up broken and depressed. Find some new hobbies, meet new people, and go to new places! These will help you emit more positive emotions which will attract more people in your life!

Distant Angel wrote: Find some new hobbies, meet new people, and go to new places! These will help you emit more positive emotions which will attract more people in your life!

You're telling me what my problem is but not the solution. The problem is I don't know where to meet new people. I don't really have many friends at the moment. I don't drink at all which means I don't go to parties or pubs.