Hating and worrying about my ex.

I've been with my ex for almost 3 years and we've broken up about 5 months ago. Honestly she was horrible to me, to make things short she thinks she's a princess who should be pampered and pleased. Her family is the same. These people are way over their heads, and everyone that knows them (incl. relatives) shun them. I was treated like a servant/doormat/money tree by them. I've done alot of things for them but in return all I got is being used and abused yet somehow I still feel sorry for her after we broke up. I don't keep contact with her and I don't think I ever will. There's still alot of bitterness and resentment inside me due to the fact that they got away with so much and they put me thru so much pain, misery and frustration.

Everyday I'm between wishing that they will all crash and burn for all they did and hoping that my ex will do better and be better, I just can't help but alternate between the two. Please note I have *NO* love for my ex whatsoever. I know she's not the one for me. I just worry about her because she's stuck with that scum family. She also has alot of personal problems, finances and the burden of that family. At the same time I hate and despise her for using me and abusing me (mentally/emotionally). Does anyone else have these conflicting emotions?

No, I don't but I don't think the conflicting emotions are necessarily troubling. You're resentful towards her but you still feel sympathy towards her because of her situation which is okay I think. The major red flag from this post, despite your statement that you feel NO love for her whatsoever, is the possibility that you're not over her and that you broke up with hesitation and that a part of you wishes that you were still in that abusive relationship.

From the OP, is almost seems as though you're manically switching from intense feelings of anger to intense feelings of worry for your ex. Maybe you just miss the sex and physical intimacy, but it sounds as though there might also be an emotional longing. Do you feel like you're missing something now that you're not in a relationship with her anymore? Has breaking up with her caused an emotional void?

Hi, thanks for the reply. I don't think there was much hesitation on my part. To be honest I was quite relieved that she finally decided to leave for real. I really thought I'd lose it if we were still together. I guess part of the reason I'm so resentful is that I hated myself for being so weak throughout the relationship and I desperately wanted retribution or comeuppance. I hated myself for not being strong enough to not call her bluffs or stand my ground when I wanted her to leave. She really is not the person for me, the way that she (and her family) is I just can't stand and eventually learned to loathe. I really didn't understand how I managed to tolerate all that for almost 3 years. I just felt trapped, lost and miserable. It's something I would never go back to.

As in the case of feeling a void. Yea I would be lying if I say I'm not lonely sometimes. But when I think back of all the times of how volatile and miserable I was, I really choose this right now over being with my ex. To be honest, I've lost attraction to my ex. I just can't find myself loving her intimately nor can I still feel attracted to her physically (and she is a pretty girl). I don't know why, but everything tells me that it's over and its just dragging at that point. I'm still a guy in my prime, so I do miss the sex and intimacy with a girl. But in the end, I value my peace of mind and freedom the most.

As for sympathy, here's the problems that I worry for her:
- her finances aren't that strong, her credit is still in repair
- her family are deadbeat, conniving scum, and they have her around their finger
- her brother is mildly autistic and have other issues
- she only have a small number of dependable friends
- she has a bad streak of being very irrational, conceited, and burning bridges
- she's prone to look for shortcuts, bailouts/handouts (at least with me)

I've already done more than enough with her but I just feel like she's very pitiful. She has her good side sometimes and she can be adorable. I'm just worried that her family will be a burden for her, that she'll have trouble finding another boyfriend, if she alienate her friends, if she gets fired from her job, if she makes another stupid decision, etc. All this yet I still very much despise and hate her.