I don't know what i'm feeling

Edited by Mod

Don't tell her how you feel, that would chase her away. Let her guess how you feel through your actions. Ask her out and let her figure out why you're asking her out herself. Some things are better if they're hinted at rather than spoken aloud.

Imagine that some guy who you've never met in real life and you've only communicated with for 2 months suddenly professes love and attraction toward you and lays his feelings on the table. Wouldn't that turn you off?

^ I asked for this to be deleted but unfortunately it can't be done. its gone a bit awry, I told her about the problem which is going on between me and her about her treating me as second best or ignoring me and how it made me feel, I didn't tell her how I felt about her though, only that "I cared about her a lot" she didn't respond to it well and once again ignored it. at that point I kind of lost it, I was feeling so hurt,disrespected and messed up that I cut contact with her, asked for a ban and bailed.she might have messaged me back eventually, but I was beginning to doubt her sincerity as she still hadn't messaged me back from last week (even though she apologized and said she would...) she was more intent on chatting with other people. she still has my email but i've deleted hers. I really just can't do it, i'm gonna be putting myself through hell over and over again ,its just too dangerous for me to be in that mindset all the time. i'm very much an all or nothing sort of person when it comes to these things. so, right now i'm just having to deal with the heartache while I try and forget about it all.

neptune wrote:I didn't tell her how I felt about her though, only that "I cared about her a lot" she didn't respond to it well and once again ignored it.

So you did tell her how you felt about her. You told her that you "cared about her a lot".

Stop doing that. It makes you seem needy and creepy and makes women uncomfortable. Just reading that makes me uncomfortable as well. Learn to put yourself in another person's shoes.

Don't constantly tell women how you feel about them, let them try to guess how you feel about them through your actions.

Kabuhi wrote:

neptune wrote:I didn't tell her how I felt about her though, only that "I cared about her a lot" she didn't respond to it well and once again ignored it.

So you did tell her how you felt about her. You told her that you "cared about her a lot".

Stop doing that. It makes you seem needy and creepy and makes women uncomfortable. Just reading that makes me uncomfortable as well. Learn to put yourself in another person's shoes.

Don't constantly tell women how you feel about them, let them try to guess how you feel about them through your actions.

I can't control my emotions, thats my problem. any emotion, they just seem to take control of me.when i'm angry about something I can't hide my feelings either. it will eventually come out in some way.

neptune wrote:

Kabuhi wrote:

neptune wrote:I didn't tell her how I felt about her though, only that "I cared about her a lot" she didn't respond to it well and once again ignored it.

So you did tell her how you felt about her. You told her that you "cared about her a lot".

Stop doing that. It makes you seem needy and creepy and makes women uncomfortable. Just reading that makes me uncomfortable as well. Learn to put yourself in another person's shoes.

Don't constantly tell women how you feel about them, let them try to guess how you feel about them through your actions.

I can't control my emotions, thats my problem. any emotion, they just seem to take control of me.when i'm angry about something I can't hide my feelings either. it will eventually come out in some way.

controlling your actions and what you do about your emotions is entirely different from controlling your emotions. no one can control what they feel, but you CAN control what you do and say. to claim you can't is honestly kind of a copout/crappy excuse for bad behaviour, in my opinion.

rainbow_sprinkles wrote: no one can control what they feel, but you CAN control what you do and say.

but thats my problem I can't i'm too honest, they take over me and eventually find some way out. some people can hide how they feel ,I wear my heart on my sleeve. even if I try and suppress my emotions they will just come out unconsciously or some other way like passive aggression.

I mean what am I supposed to do? carry on getting myself blind drunk when someone emotionally hurts me, or go back onto recreational drugs again to try and deal with the pain? its been one of the only ways i've been able to deal with it leading up to this all.
its like she knows what hurts me, yet she is keeping on doing it, am I just supposed to not speak about my emotions and allow myself to keep being abused?

neptune wrote:its like she knows what hurts me, yet she is keeping on doing it, am I just supposed to not speak about my emotions and allow myself to keep being abused?

How is she abusing you?? She's abusing you by not reciprocating? I agree that she's probably not being direct about not being romantically interested, but with your clinginess would it really matter if she was?

Kabuhi wrote:

neptune wrote:its like she knows what hurts me, yet she is keeping on doing it, am I just supposed to not speak about my emotions and allow myself to keep being abused?

How is she abusing you?? She's abusing you by not reciprocating? I agree that she's probably not being direct about not being romantically interested, but with your clinginess would it really matter if she was?

she knows what hurts me and is using it to make me feel worse whether consciously or unconsciously. i've told her before about my family problems where they treat me like i'm second best, ignore me, disrespect me etc and yet she then goes and perpetrates it towards me. its like what the ###$ is the point in telling people how you feel (about anything) if someone is gonna be a complete arsehole to someone who is sensitive like me.