Feeling lost and alone...

Im a 22 year old female in a civil partnership with a 25 year old female. We only got married in august this year.
Please forgive me if this is in the wrong area i think it could be in quite a few forums.

So...my problem is im always exhausted. Its affecting my relationship seriously. As i never have the energy or sometimes even want to have sex.

Im currently a full time student doing a degree in engineering. As you can imagine, its a mind bog. In the middle of that i look after my partners daughter, who is 6. (Who i see very much as my own, having been in her life for all of her life) I get up early, get her ready for school, breakfast, rush home from Uni to collect her from school and do dinner etc. I try to eat healthy and do exercise. Although lately i cannot physically do exercise due to being so tired. Its as bad as i get home and sit down and i start nodding off. But then my sleep is disturbed with vivid dreams.

My partner does night shifts and has a very mentally tiring job in an elderly care home. She has to deal with alot of horrible things. I do all these things to make things easier for her too. So i completely understand that she is tired alot too. But her sex drive is great. Mine used to be. But now its gone.

I have been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder about 4 years ago. But ive had no trouble since finishing with therapy 3 years ago. I do NOT want to go onto antidepressants again. I still have a small glimmer of hope of going into the armed forces.

Ive tried talking with my partner, but its no use. I feel she is just blaming me and thinks im just making up excuses. I completely understand she must feel rejected and hurt. I really do. But im at my last tether and i dont know what else i can do? Ive been to the doctors recently to discuss my problems and im currently waiting to see a neurologist due to having "numb legs", basically im being tested for MS. As exhaustion is also a symptom. I honestly dont think i have MS, but im dying to know why the hell im so exhausted all the time? I was not like this 8 months ago during college. Even during college i had the same routine of looking after her daughter.

Please can anyone give advice on this?
Or am i just a selfish useless partner?

Hi, I think getting things checked with the doctor is a good idea just to rule-out any physical conditions that could be causing you to feel so tired.

It seems as if you have a lot on your plate. Studying full-time and looking after a six-year-old would be draining for many people. Can you slow things down for a while? (Or can your partner work less shifts and take some of the load off you?) It sounds like you are quite ambitious, and focussed on earning your degree and getting a job, which is great. But maybe consider dropping a subject or two until you feel better. Or could you get someone else to help with the cooking or collecting your daughter from school etc? If you can create more time for yourself - to relax and look after your health, you may find that your energy levels and sex drive improves.

tholder90 wrote:Ive tried talking with my partner, but its no use. I feel she is just blaming me and thinks im just making up excuses.

No wonder you feel lost and alone. I think communication is really important. You need to feel heard by your partner and that she respects how you feel. There is no value in blaming you. If you feel exhausted and are having trouble keeping-up with everything, then that is how you feel. It's nobody's fault. I think you need to find a way to talk about it and to tackle the problem together. You are in this together, and you can find a solution together.

your not alone in this kind of situation but your partner must acknowledge that it is a partnership and an equal one. Your are doing a full time student coarse and your partner should recognize it.
Glad you are seeking advice from doctors on your lack of zest, I hope it all works out for you but you have to talk about the situation and in time your sex drive will return (it's only on holiday lol ) x KK

Or am i just a selfish useless partner?

You spend almost the entire post bar that quote talking about what your doing for your partner and daughter making me ask when was the last time you did something just for yourself?

has a very mentally tiring job

Anyone willing to offer odds that the poster's wife off loads her mental stress on our poster? Which brings forth.........

its a mind bog............. sleep is disturbed with vivid dreams............ bi-polar disorder

Just out of interest when was the last time you gave your mind the weekend off ?

talking with my partner, but its no use ......... feel rejected and hurt.

Who's hurt and rejected ? Wannta bet it's you ?

I realise that marriage changes a persons life but why is your wife not listening to you ?

By the way congrads on the marriage!

That was not roughly when you started to exhausted is it?

going into the armed forces.

Your posting about your relationship and exhaustion when up pops the armed forces. Why? Doing what ?

im dying to know why the hell im so exhausted all the time?

If you find out why please pop back and enlighten us.